Shining

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Una scena saliente del film.

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Un nonciclopediano-medio festeggia(va) i 2.000 articoli

« Wendy, dammi la mazza...La mazza Wendy... »

(Jack Nicholson)

« Ti ho detto che non ti farò niente...soltanto quella testa te la spacco in due... »

(Jack Nicholson)

« Oops, I did it again! »

(Jack Nicholson)

« Tony, puoi controllarmi le tonsille? »

(Bambino)

« Spiacente, abbiamo solo Havana Club »

(Barista)

Uscito nel 1980, Shining è il famoso sequel dell'arcinoto Tre metri sopra il cielo, sempre scaturito dal genio dell'omologo regista Stanley Kubrick, ma questa volta con l'aiuto del maestro M. Night Shyamalan, fondamentale per le scene di nudo.
Nel 1997, il film vinse un Premio Nobel per la pace, e nel 1999 fu insignito del premio Oscar per "Migliore scena con padre pedofilo assatanato" e anche ai giorni nostri gode di una considerevole fama, soprattutto tra i prelati.
È annoverato tra i 3227 film più belli del mondo, grazie anche alla partecipazione di un cast davvero eccellente.

Cast

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Jack Nicholson nel ruolo del padre assatanato e pedofilo.
Una donna orrenda nel ruolo della moglie orribile di Jack.
Il Bambino nel ruolo del figlio-biker che subisce violenze.
Le Gemelle Kessler nel ruolo delle gemelline inquietanti.
Un negro nel ruolo di un uomo di colore che muore.
Platinette nel ruolo dello chalet di montagna.
David Hasseloff nel ruolo di Mitch Buchannon.
Omino Bianco nel ruolo di Tony.
Rocco Buttiglione nel ruolo del triciclo.

Trama

La storia tratta di una felice famigliola che per fuggire dalla programmazione serale del Bagaglino, va a vivere da sola in uno stupendo chalet di montagna isolato dal mondo.

Attenzione, da qui in poi questo articolo contiene spoiler.

Gli spoiler rendono il testo più aerodinamico aumentandone la velocità, quindi attenzione ai colpi d'aria.

In questa atmosfera molto suggestiva, il padre Jack, vedendo un coniglio che tenta di accoppiarsi con una volpe, esce di senno, riuscendo addirittura a fare dei complimenti alla sua orribile moglie. Tutto il film si articola quindi in un lunghissimo torneo di bocce durante il quale la celata pazzia di Jack emerge passo a passo, rivelando la sua vera natura di pedofilo. Dapprima egli tenta invano di usare violenza a due gemelline, e poi si propone in effusioni amorose con un'anziana signora piuttosto schifosa, interpretata magistralmente da Irene Pivetti.

Il triciclo con cui il bambino era solito a girare per casa.

Il Bambino intanto, che gode di una smisurata intelligenza, prende per il culo la madre correndo con un triciclo attraverso i corridoi dello chalet, lasciando il segno del suo passaggio con delle vistose tracce di merda sul parquet e sui tappeti persiani a cui l’orrenda donna tiene tanto.
Jack nel frattempo, oltre ad essere diventato un folle, cade in depressione per il suo matrimonio, e così, chiedendosi come abbia fatto a sposare una donna così brutta, arriva persino ad immaginarsi un bar con annessa toilette nello scantinato. Una volta giunto in codesto luogo incontra Sandro Bondi vestito da cameriere che gli consiglia di prestare maggior attenzione a quello scherzo della natura che è suo figlio. Jack, a questo punto parte alla ricerca di questo per insegnarli l’arte del taglialegna, ma la moglie che lo vede aggirarsi con l’accetta in mano pensa che voglia uccidere il figlio (è anche stupida, oltre che molto brutta).

Quando però la moglie scorge Jack a mangiare otto pigne poco fuori lo chalet, comincia ad avere seri sospetti riguardo la sua sanità mentale (le pigne non gli erano mai piaciute). Le conferme non tardano ad arrivare, infatti Jack si esibisce per un’ora e tre quarti in uno stressante karaoke, cantando solo Britney Spears e i Tokens. La moglie, esasperata dalle inesistenti doti canore di Jack, decide di chiamare aiuto alla radio rivolgendosi al Coro dell’Antoniano, e così, un uomo di colore che non sa farsi i cazzi suoi, raggiunge lo chalet in mezzo ad una bufera di neve. Una volta arrivato però, commette l’errore di identificarsi al citofono come un “ Testimone di Geova” per non dare nell’occhio, ed in questo modo attira tutta l’antipatia di Jack che, dopo essere stato preso in giro per la sua performance, impazzisce totalmente e lo uccide a suon di fragorose cuscinate.
Il film si conclude con Jack che, assieme ad un coro Gospel, grida: “ADRIANAAAAAAAAA”.

Curiosità

Shining non si scrive con la “F”.
Per girare questo film non si è usata violenza sugli animali (il coniglio e la volpe erano consenzienti).
La moglie di Jack è brutta al naturale, non hanno usato nessun trucco.
Il Bambino si è laureato nel 1999 in Scienze della comunicazione.
Nel 2001 anche Tony, il tizio che vive nella bocca del bambino, si è laureato in odontoiatria.

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« All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. »

(Nessuno)

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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!

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« All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. »

(Nessuno)

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

   All work and no play makes Jack a dull boyAll work and no play makes
    Jack a dull boyAll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
       All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
        All work and no play makes Jack a dull
         boy All work and no play makes
          Jack a dull boy All work 
           and no play makes 
            Jack a dull boy
             All work and
              no play
               makes 
               Jack a 
              dull boy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

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