William Shakespeare

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È noto come Shakespeare abbia influenzato anche il cinema. Di persona.
« Una figura fondamentale della XL9NOiOEV66GsDvogEtI37pRa6gG59oxQBvjJ32yJFfLrCne3iZmrdMGM7DidqQXusImzusOdx5h5l2QuOjwTdVbwOIQqtt468EIK70PyMaktU50FNzTkW8VRnZXIDEKM5X0Cfac20iR6Zw1HkpeYMAjeV0mWmxnDDJCUCqSjItkxs9tNxVkiMBpZeQrVHAqQv1dvT5af0Icetso9peYyNF4uiRzBY2TwzR5IvER8L

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(Il critico letterario Oreste del Buono su Shakespeare)
« William Shakespeare era omosessuale e molto probabilmente non è mai esistito »
(Professoressa di letteratura inglese alla prima lezione su William Shakespeare)
« Stranamente, il colpevole non è il maggiordomo! »
(Chiunque dopo aver assistito ad Amleto)
« Essere o non essere, questo è D'Alema! »
(William Shakespeare su evidenti problemi della sinistra italiana)
« Alcuni nascono grandi, alcuni conquistano la grandezza, ed altri hanno una grandezza imposta loro da dietro. »
(William Shakespeare su grandezza)

William Shakespeare è stato un beone britannico con l'hobby della drammaturgia. Famoso in tutto il mondo per le sue opere scanzonate, mai cupe e piene di sottile humor inglese, nonché per il manipolo di scimmie sceneggiatrici che teneva segregate in cantina e che gli fornivano una fonte costante di trame, idee e personaggi.

Breve e nebuloso cenno biografico

Willy Shakespeare reagisce con signorilità agli impietosi fischi durante la prima del Re Lear.

Checché ne dicano i biografi ufficiali, William Shakespeare non nasce in terra D'albione ma in Sardegna: il suo nome di battesimo infatti era Guglielmo Sciaccaspirru.
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È sicuramente l'opera più popolare di Shakespeare, e guarda caso è anche la più brutta. Narra della tormentata storia d'amore fra una marmitta e uno specchietto retrovisore.
I due si conoscono durante il salone automobilistico di Verona e, pur amandosi, non possono unirsi in matrimonio giacché i genitori di lui non vedono di buon occhio lei, in quanto fabbricata in Taiwan [1]. La storia termina in tragedia perché, durante un parcheggio azzardato, lo specchietto finisce in frantumi contro la portiera di una Fiat Duna.

Detective Amleto

   La stessa cosa ma di più: Amleto.
Ritratto della regina Elisabetta.
Da notare il corpetto rinforzato in poliestere e kevlar.

Shakespeare trae spunto per questa storia da antiche leggende contenute nella Settimana Enigmistica e dalla trama di Beautiful.
La vicenda vede il re di Danimarca morire assassinato nel sonno. I sospetti ovviamente ricadono sul maggiordomo, ma stavolta il colpevole non è lui [2]. Dopo molte peripezie il sagace detective Amleto riesce a scoprire, grazie a tracce di liquido seminale sparse sul cuscino e a un'antica profezia in cirillico, che il vero assassino è il calciatore Marcio Amoroso (da qui la famosa frase "C'è del Marcio in Danimarca" ).
Nell'ultimo atto l'assassino tenta di scappare ma Amleto, dotato di scarpe a energia eolica, gli maciulla le tibie con una pallonata.

Ostello

Shakespeare decide di descrivere in quest'opera le passioni che ottenebrano e sconvolgono la mente umana: per far ciò attinge a piene mani dalla propria dipendenza dai sottaceti.
L'intreccio della storia ruota intorno al casuale incontro, in un sordido ostello della gioventù, fra un uomo di colore, una procace turista svedese e un perfido affittacamere dedito alla zoofilia. La vicenda si snoda attraverso un affascinate gioco di equivoci e di reciproci sospetti, e a ingarbugliare ancor di più lo squallido triangolo amoroso ci si mette una mandria di turisti giapponesi che decidono, nei capitoli conclusivi, di soggiornare nel famigerato ostello.
Finale spiazzante con ben quattro matrimoni interazziali e un funerale.

Super Marcbeth

È un dramma totalmente ambientato nel reparto latticini di un supermarket scozzese.
Il giovane e neo-assunto Macbeth è divorato dalla sfrenata ambizione di diventare direttore del suddetto supermarket, e per realizzare il suo sogno non esita a eliminare (anche fisicamente) i colleghi che potrebbero fregargli il posto.
Nel triste finale il senso del tragico e la follia del potere raggiungono livelli epocali, perché la direzione del supermarket attua un drastico taglio al personale. Macbeth si trova così disoccupato e, in preda al rimorso, capisce l'inutilità delle sue azioni e va a lavorare alla Coop.

Il Sardo amava rilassarsi ascoltando canzoni in dialetto gallurese.

Il Mercalli di Venezia

   La stessa cosa ma di più: Il mercante di Venezia.

Il veneziano Antonio decide di aprire una concessionaria di automobili nei pressi del Canal Grande; l'attività versa inspiegabilmente sull'orlo del fallimento e Antonio è costretto ad indebitarsi con Shylock, usuraio ebreo. Pur di non pagare Shylock, Antonio si mette alla guida di una Lega Nord ante litteram e inizia a diffondere storie sinistre sul conto degli ebrei, accusandoli di stuprare le nobildonne veneziane e di essere i responsabili del surriscaldamento globale.
I veneziani, fomentati dalla convincente retorica di Antonio, cacciano gli ebrei a calci in culo e si lanciano in uno sfrenato Carnevale pur essendo ad agosto. Finale poetico con un terremoto di intensità X sulla scala Mercalli che rade al suolo la Serenissima.

Re Amanda Lear

Questo è senza dubbio il dramma più nero e disperato dell'autore sardo. Racconta le vicissitudini di Amanda Lear, un vecchio e stanco sovrano che decide di cedere il trono al figlio Roberto Calderoli, ignorando totalmente che quest'ultimo sotto sotto è uno sfegatato leghista. La prima azione di Calderoli come re è di promulgare un editto che bandisce dal regno tutte le soubrette platinate ultrasessantenni dalla sessualità ambigua. Amanda Lear, umiliata e offesa, si ritira con il suo chihuahua Egidio in un doloroso esilio sulle Alpi Apuane.

Note

  1. ^ Si sa che i veronesi sono razzisti...
  2. ^ Lo so che pare strano, ma vi giuro che è così

Voci correlate

Estratto da "https://nonciclopedia.org/wiki/William_Shakespeare?oldid=2207770"