Colpa di Wikia: differenze tra le versioni

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Versione attuale delle 02:32, 12 ott 2022

Questa voce o sezione deve essere spolverata e svecchiata appena qualcuno ne ha voglia.

Commento: non siamo più su Wikia

Sembra infatti che da quando è stata scritta ne siano successe di tutti i colori... e l'autore se n'è sbattuto le palle. Se puoi, contribuisci a svecchiarlo.

Attenzione! Questa pagina parla di Nonciclopedia
La seguente pagina contiene quantità abnormi di autoreferenzialità. Se la leggi senza aver prima consultato qualche voce di Nonciclopedia rischi addirittura di imparare qualcosa, e qua nessuno vuole che accada una cosa del genere.

« Domani verranno introdotti alcuni aggiornamenti che faciliteranno le modifiche per gli utenti non registrati. »

(Classico messaggio di Wikia)

« Non visualizzo bene i template! Le note non funzionano! Le immagini non si caricano! Il caffè è senza zucchero! »

(Utente qualsiasi poco tempo dopo)

« Colpa di Wikia! »

(La pronta risposta dell'admin)

« Le gif sono ferme!!! AIUTOOOOO! »

(Chiunque su gif ferma)

« Crea più problemi dei vandali »

(Admin stufo su Wikia)

« Crea più problemi ai vandali »

(Vandalo stufo su Wikia)

Colpa di Wikia è la tipica frase che un membro di una wiki usa quando è presente un qualsiasi tipo di problema sulla sua enciclopedia preferita, sulla rete e nella vita in generale.

Una breve introduzione a Wikia

Non ti basta? C'è anche Wikia. Non c'è la pagina? Colpa di Wikia!

Loro comunicano solo così, pertanto non sperare di poterli contattare.

- Membro dello staff: “Ehi Prof, che facciamo stasera?”
- Jimbo Wales: “Quello che tentiamo di fare tutte le sere, caro Mignolo. Tentiamo di conquistare la rete!”

Wikia è un servizio di web hosting ~~gratuito~~ creato da una loggia di nerd con lo scopo di legalizzare il loro malvagio terrorismo informatico. Tramite la creazioni di nuove wiki questi malvagi esseri ti fanno illudere di essere padrone della rete, ma è qui che scatta la fregatura: tu pensi di saper controllare i codici, di essere l'eletto, ma a Loro basta cambiare una semplice virgola in uno qualsiasi dei loro comandi strampalati e tutto il tuo mondo cade!

Nessuno fino ad ora sembra in grado di fermarli, poiché nessuno conosce Il Codice.

Pare che dietro questa sinistra associazione si nasconda un'entità ancor più malvagia: Jimbo Wales, un semidio mezzo uomo mezzo hard disk in grado di distruggere intere wiki in un batter di mouse.

Cosa fare e cosa non fare in caso di Colpa di Wikia

« Don't panic! »

(I consigli della Guida galattica per autostoppisti.)

« Voglio la mia mamma! »

(Nonciclopediano su errore di Wikia.)

« WIKIA MERDA, WINKIA DELLA MINKIA! »

(Amministratore prossimo alla crisi di nervi.)

Cosa non fare

Quando avviene un qualsiasi caso di "Colpa di Wikia" è bene tenere a mente alcuni consigli essenziali:

Non fatevi prendere dalla paura. I membri dello staff di Wikia sentono se hai paura, e possono annusarla anche se ti nascondi dietro un ip dinamico, pertanto è meglio non dar loro corda; tenetela per occasioni migliori.
Non tentate di smanettare coi codici. Non serve a nulla se siete umani, lasciate fare a chi non lo è, come gli amministratori; rischiereste solo di peggiorare le cose e di far incazzare gli admin, che sono notoriamente affabili quanto un orso ferito.

Non prendetevela con lo staff di Wikia. Primo perché probabilmente non capirebbero, considerato che parlano solo il binario o il klingon. Secondo perché Loro non comprendono i vostri problemi, dato che vivono ad un livello superiore. In soffitta, per intenderci.

Cosa fare

Se siete utenti semplici: l'unica cosa utile che potete fare è contattare il signor Pinco Pallino, Addetto ai Reclami e Relazioni pubbliche di Wikia, al numero 899 001 100 13. Come? Il numero è irraggiungibile? Colpa di Wikia!

Se siete amministratori: non potete fare nulla come gli utenti semplici. Cosa pensavate, di aver diritto a chissà che cosa? Al massimo potete concedervi qualche imprecazione in più rispetto al basso popolino.

Se siete membri dello staff di Wikia: cosa ci fate qui allora? Filate a lavorare che cade tutto a pezzi!

La Wikicalisse

« Così il gran dragone, il serpente antico, che è chiamato diavolo e Satana, che seduce tutto il mondo, fu gettato sulla terra; con lui furono gettati anche i suoi angeli. »

(Wikicalisse 12,9.)

« La wikicalisse è arrivata...ora nulla potrà più salvarci... »

(Admin profetico su cambiamento del parser.)

« E il loro numero è legione... »

(Altro admin profetico su errori di wikia.)

La Wikicalisse, anche nota come Wikigeddon o Si salvi chi può!, indica la lotta finale fra gli amministratori di tutte le Wikie e Wikia stessa, una lotta fra il Bene e il Male, fra la Conoscenza e la Distruzione, fra la Luce e l'Ombra, fra Gianni e Pinotto.

Essa viene descritta in alcuni testi segreti custoditi solo nelle più recondite e polverose sottopagine, ma spesso alcuni suoi pezzi vengono letti da profetici utenti sui forum di tutto il mondo. Si dice che avverrà quando Wikia, guidata dal Diavolo in persona, scatenerà tutte le sue malefatte contro la civiltà umana ed invierà I quattro Parser della Wikicalisse, che porteranno morte e distruzione fra i server delle wiki.

La fine del mondo potrà essere evitata solo con una ingente donazione a Wikia stessa; in caso contrario le porte degli Inferi si apriranno ed ogni singola modifica verrà inghiottita.

Alcuni casi eclatanti di colpevolezza di Wikia

Talvolta riconoscere un errore di Wikia è facile: basta guardarsi intorno e si noteranno molteplici esempi di come essa possa rovinarci la vita. Sempre che quella degli utenti delle wiki si possa chiamare "vita".

Colpa di Wikia!
Colpa di Wikia!
Colpa di Wikia!
Colpa di Wikia!
Colpa di Wikia!
Eh no, stavolta è solo colpa tua.

In casi del genere adottare le soluzioni esposte sopra potrebbe non rivelarsi sufficiente: in tal caso rompete il vetro di emergenza e premete il pulsante di spegnimento del vostro pc; ogni problema terminerà all'istante. Se per una sfortunata coincidenza non dovesse bastare, rompete l'altro vetro di emergenza: quello della finestra. Col vostro corpo.

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+'''Colpa di Wikia''' è la tipica frase che un membro di una wiki usa quando è presente un qualsiasi tipo di problema sulla sua enciclopedia preferita, sulla [[internet|rete]] e nella [[vita]] in generale.
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+|style="width:100%"|''Non ti basta? [[C'è]] anche '''[[Wikia]]'''. Non c'è la pagina? Colpa di Wikia!''
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+{{dialogo|Membro dello staff|Ehi Prof, che facciamo stasera?|Jimbo Wales|Quello che tentiamo di fare tutte le sere, caro Mignolo. Tentiamo di conquistare la rete!}}
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-b[d]))return e;return k},$a=function(a,b,c){Za(a,b,c)},ab=function(a,b){Za(a,"gbe",b)},bb=function(){D(function(){n.pcm&&n.pcm()})},cb=function(){D(function(){n.pca&&n.pca()})},db=function(a,b,c,d,g,f,m,l,p,s){D(function(){n.paa&&n.paa(a,b,c,d,g,f,m,l,p,s)})},eb=function(a,b){O[a]||(O[a]=[]);O[a].push(b)},fb=function(a,b){P[a]||(P[a]=[]);P[a].push(b)},gb=function(a,b){Qa[a]=b},hb=function(a,b){Q[a]||(Q[a]=[]);Q[a].push(b)},Ua=function(a){a.preventDefault&&a.preventDefault();a.returnValue=k;a.cancelBubble=
+'''Wikia''' è un servizio di ''web hosting'' <del>gratuito</del> creato da una [[loggia]] di [[nerd]] con lo scopo di legalizzare il loro malvagio [[terrorismo]] informatico. Tramite la creazioni di nuove wiki questi malvagi esseri ti fanno illudere di essere padrone della [[internet|rete]], ma è qui che scatta la fregatura: tu ''pensi'' di saper controllare i codici, di essere l'eletto, ma a Loro basta cambiare una semplice [[virgola]] in uno qualsiasi dei loro comandi strampalati e ''tutto il tuo mondo cade!''
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+Nessuno fino ad ora sembra in grado di fermarli, poiché nessuno conosce '''Il Codice'''.
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+Pare che dietro questa sinistra associazione si nasconda un'entità ancor più malvagia: [[Jimbo Wales]], un semi[[dio]] mezzo uomo mezzo hard disk in grado di distruggere intere [[wiki]] in un batter di [[mouse]].
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+==Cosa fare e cosa non fare in caso di ''Colpa di Wikia''==
+[[File:Ragazzo molto brutto e molto nerd.jpg|170px|thumb|right|Un membro dello staff di Wikia. Non prendertela troppo con lui, ha già patito abbastanza.]]
+{{cit2|Don't panic!|I consigli della [[Guida galattica per autostoppisti]].}}
+{{cit2|Voglio la mia mamma!|[[Nonciclopediano]] su errore di Wikia.}}
+{{cit2|WIKIA MERDA, WINKIA DELLA MINKIA!|Amministratore prossimo alla crisi di nervi.}}
+===Cosa non fare===
+Quando avviene un qualsiasi caso di "Colpa di Wikia" è bene tenere a mente alcuni [[consiglio|consigli]] essenziali:
+* '''Non fatevi prendere dalla [[paura]]'''. I membri dello staff di Wikia sentono se hai paura, e possono annusarla anche se ti nascondi dietro un [[ip]] dinamico, pertanto è meglio non dar loro [[corda]]; tenetela per [[suicidio|occasioni migliori]].
+* '''Non tentate di smanettare coi codici.''' Non serve a nulla se siete [[uomo|umani]], lasciate fare a chi non lo è, come gli [[amministratori]]; rischiereste solo di peggiorare le cose e di far incazzare gli admin, che sono notoriamente affabili quanto un [[orso]] ferito.
+[[File:Coglione che indica.png|200px|thumb|right|''Colpa loro!'']]
+* '''Non prendetevela con lo staff di Wikia.''' Primo perché probabilmente non capirebbero, considerato che parlano solo il [[codice binario|binario]] o il [[klingon]]. Secondo perché Loro non comprendono i vostri problemi, dato che vivono ad un livello superiore. In soffitta, per intenderci.
+===Cosa fare===
+*'''Se siete utenti semplici''': l'unica cosa [[utile]] che potete fare è contattare il signor [[Pinco Pallino]], Addetto ai Reclami e Relazioni pubbliche di Wikia, al numero 899 001 100 13. Come? Il numero è irraggiungibile? Colpa di Wikia!
+*'''Se siete amministratori''': non potete fare nulla come gli utenti semplici. Cosa pensavate, di aver diritto a chissà che cosa? Al massimo potete concedervi qualche imprecazione in più rispetto al basso popolino.
+*'''Se siete membri dello staff di Wikia''': cosa ci fate qui allora? Filate a lavorare che cade tutto a pezzi!
+==La Wikicalisse==
+[[File:Jimbo Wales sorride.jpg|200px|thumb|left|La Bestia descritta nel libro. Il numero che l'annuncia, ''il Numero della Bestia'', è noto solo a pochi, fra cui gli [[Iron Maiden]].]]
+{{cit2|Così il gran dragone, il serpente antico, che è chiamato diavolo e Satana, che seduce tutto il mondo, fu gettato sulla terra; con lui furono gettati anche i suoi angeli.|Wikicalisse 12,9.}}
+{{cit2|La wikicalisse è arrivata...ora nulla potrà più salvarci...|Admin profetico su cambiamento del parser.}}
+{{cit2|E il loro numero è legione...|Altro admin profetico su errori di wikia.}}
+La '''Wikicalisse''', anche nota come '''Wikigeddon''' o '''Si salvi chi può!''', indica la lotta finale fra gli amministratori di tutte le Wikie e Wikia stessa, una lotta fra il Bene e il Male, fra la Conoscenza e la Distruzione, fra la [[Luce]] e l'[[Ombra]], fra [[Gianni e Pinotto]].
+Essa viene descritta in alcuni testi segreti custoditi solo nelle più recondite e polverose sottopagine, ma spesso alcuni suoi pezzi vengono letti da profetici utenti sui [[forum]] di tutto il mondo. Si dice che avverrà quando Wikia, guidata dal [[Diavolo]] in persona, scatenerà tutte le sue malefatte contro la civiltà umana ed invierà ''I quattro Parser della Wikicalisse'', che porteranno [[morte]] e distruzione fra i [[server]] delle wiki.
+La [[fine del mondo]] potrà essere evitata solo con una ingente donazione a Wikia stessa; in caso contrario le porte degli [[Inferno|Inferi]] si apriranno ed ogni singola modifica verrà inghiottita.
+[[File:Hercule Poirot.jpg|thumb|150px|right|[[Hercule Poirot|Poirot]] non sbaglia mai: qui il colpevole è Wikia.]]
+==Alcuni casi eclatanti di colpevolezza di Wikia==
+Talvolta riconoscere un errore di Wikia è facile: basta guardarsi intorno e si noteranno molteplici esempi di come essa possa rovinarci la [[vita]]. Sempre che quella degli utenti delle wiki si possa chiamare "vita".
+<gallery widths="150px" heights="150px" perrow="3">
+Immagine:Torri-gemelle.jpg|Colpa di Wikia!
+File:Computer con schermo blu della morte.jpg|Colpa di Wikia!
+Immagine:Tornado.jpg|Colpa di Wikia!
+Immagine:Disastro_ferroviario_montparnasse_1895.jpg|Colpa di Wikia!
+Immagine:Cosplay wikipe-tan.jpg|Colpa di Wikia!
+Immagine:Picche!.jpg|Eh no, stavolta è solo colpa tua.
+</gallery>
+[[File:Jimbo Wales maglietta Minkia.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Anche [[Jimbo Wales|lui]] ha capito che [[Wikia]] non è Wikia.]]
+In casi del genere adottare le soluzioni esposte sopra potrebbe non rivelarsi sufficiente: in tal caso rompete il [[vetro]] di emergenza e premete il pulsante di spegnimento del vostro [[pc]]; ogni problema terminerà all'istante. Se per una sfortunata coincidenza non dovesse bastare, rompete l'altro vetro di emergenza: quello della [[finestra]]. Col vostro corpo.
+==Articoli correlati per colpa di Wikia==
+* [[La pagina non esiste. È possibile crearla ora|La pagina non esiste. Non è possibile crearla ora per colpa di Wikia]]
+* [[Server di Nonciclopedia]], che crashano rigorosamente al primo errorino
+* [[Please Wait... Loading]], non sembra, ma anche qui c'entra Wikia
+* [[Schermo Blu della Morte|Schermo Blu di Wikia]], non poteva mancare
+* [[Quei niubbi che la sera devastano Nonciclopedia]], perché anche loro devono subire gli errori di Wikia. Ah! Vendetta!
+[[File:MFH banna Wikia.GIF|thumb|center|1080px|È una questione di karma...]]
+<div style="position:fixed; left:0px; top:300px;">
+[[File:Jimbo rapina.gif|200px|Sgancia la grana!|link=Jimbo]]
+</div>
+{{Portali|Informatica}}
+[[Categoria:Nonciclopedia inside]]
+[[Categoria:Articoli speciali per qualche motivo ma anche no]]
+[[Categoria:Motivi per odiare l'informatica]]
+[[es:Culpa de Wikia]]
+[[gl:Culpa de Wikia]]

Colpa di Wikia: differenze tra le versioni

Versione attuale delle 02:32, 12 ott 2022

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Una breve introduzione a Wikia

Cosa fare e cosa non fare in caso di Colpa di Wikia

Cosa non fare

Cosa fare

La Wikicalisse

Alcuni casi eclatanti di colpevolezza di Wikia

Articoli correlati per colpa di Wikia

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Colpa di Wikia: differenze tra le versioni

Versione attuale delle 02:32, 12 ott 2022

Una breve introduzione a Wikia

Cosa fare e cosa non fare in caso di Colpa di Wikia

Cosa non fare

Cosa fare

La Wikicalisse

Alcuni casi eclatanti di colpevolezza di Wikia

Articoli correlati per colpa di Wikia

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