Rettangolo: differenze tra le versioni

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Versione delle 13:02, 14 set 2016

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@@ Riga 1: / Riga 1: @@
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-{| width="100%" align="center" style="background: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 4px solid #000000; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-| style="padding-right: 4px; padding-left: 4px;" |
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-<big>'''QUESTO È UN RETTANGOLO!!'''</big>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-|}
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-==Patologie geometriche==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-'''Rettangolo''' nell'uso geometrico indica una figura composta da lati e angoli. Nel linguaggio medico, invece, '''rettangolo''' o anche '''rett'a'ngulo''' è inteso come '''retto ad angolo''' e indica una malformazione che impedisce al paziente di cacare.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Infatti, i questi casi, il retto non è più retto ma, a un certo punto devia e forma un angolo che facilmente si occlude e impedisce il deflusso delle merdi.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Il fenomeno è detto altresì '''retta n'culo''' o anche ''rotta n'culo''
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-== Sintomatologia e metodi diagnostici della patologia rett-angolare ==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-[[File:Rettangolo impossibile.jpg|thumb|right|380px|Semplice no?]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-In passato la sintomatologia da intasamento era il solo modo per conoscere la patologia. Allora il paziente normalmente cominciava a gonfiarsi, i tessuti del ventre prolassavano formando una sorta di zampogna e i gas venivano espulsi per via orale rendendo estremamente pericoloso avicinarsi al paziente; di seguito la pelle cominciava ad assumere una colorazione marroncina oppure anche fucsia. Alla fine il paziente dava luogo a un'esplosione abbastamza simile a una piccola esplosione vulcanica. I luoghi dove ciò avveniva rimanevano pertanto disabitati per diversi anni a causa degli effluvi fetogeni che permanevano sui terreni, sui vegetali e sulle rocce; di poi, prima di icolonizzare i luoghi, si provvedeva a bruciare case, stalle, edifici pubblici, ecc.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-L'Imperatore Nerone dovette procedere in tal modo poiché a Roma di erano verificati ben due casi contempoaranei di rettangolo e bruciare la città.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-La medicina moderna, invece, riesce a diagnosticare il male prima che questo provochi l'esplosione su precise basi fietologiche. Ma per un'esatta valutazione dell'indispensabile intervento chirurgico, è necessario stabilire il posizionamento e l'ampiezza dell'angolo formato dal retto; a tale scopo viene utilizzata una sonda, tecnicamente definita come '''sonda equina''', in grado di penetrare il paziente findove il retto si è angolato.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Più difficile risulta misurare l'angolo: disolito viene introdotto nel paziente un tubo di metallo flessibile del diametro di 20 cm. e dipoi viene radiografato in varie posizioni, particolarmente nella posizione detta "a pecorina".
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Altro metodo, più moderno, ricorre invece all'insufflazione nel paziente di acido carbonico, che notoriamente foma bollicine, dopodiché il paziente viene perforato in più punti sul ventre.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-== Terapie chirurgiche, protesi e supporti farmacologici ==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Il trattamento chirurgico del rettangolo consiste fondamentalmente nell'asportazione del retto e nella sua spstituzione con una protesi tubolare in cui diametro, 20cm., garantisce contro eventuali futuri intasamenti.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Il paziente, una volta operato, deve poi seguire per sempre un trattamento farmacologico localizzato, nonché portare un tappo di cemento per occludere, quando serve, il retto artificiale. Solitamente i pazienti vengono trattati con olio di ricino, circa 3 litri al giorno, mentre nel retto viene pompata gelatina di vasellina ed estratto di chiodi di garofano. L'olio serve a fluidificare le merdi e quindi a facilitare il deflusso mentre l'essenza di chiodi di garofano servono alla sopravvivenza dell'infermere.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Il paziente, inolre, viene nutrito con brodini di feci di cavallo, estremamente efficace a impedire la disidratazione delle merdi che le renderebbe dure. Recentemente, per facilitare la defecazione, viene utilizzata una formula che ha grande potere stimolatorio : [[Mago Otelma|'''Utòr Kalèm---Itòr Ausìm---Olìm Peròr---Otelma Isi Tàu''']] <small>(vedi link)</small>, oltre che somministrare al paziente musiche di [[Mariottide]], [[Cristiano Malgioglio]] e l'inno di Forza Italia (attuale PdL).
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-== Statistiche ==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Attualmente il rettangolo colpisce cierca lo 0.002 per mille della popolazione mondiale. Se disgraziatamente tale percentuale dovesse aumentare si andrà incontro a modificazioni climatiche provocate dalle piogge di merda dovute alle esplosioni del retto.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-La percentuale di pazienti che sopravvive all'operazione chirurgica è però del
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-- 4% (il segno meno significa che su 100 pazienti operati ne muoiono 104). Mediamente l'angolo rettale ha ampiezza di circa 85/90° da cui viene avanzata l'ipotesi che la malformazione, anzicchè essee congenita, verrebbe invece a formarsi come adattamento alla posizione sodomico-passiva, soprattutto quando il paziente ha sopportato sodomizzazioni con cazzi della medesima inclinatura.
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Una causa recente dell'insorgere della patologia è riferibile all'uso del [[sedile a perno]].
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-== Voci correlate ==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-*[[Triangolo]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-*[[Triangolo rettangolo]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-*[[Geometria]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-*[[Quadrato]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-*[[Cerchio]]
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-== Nota ==
+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-Do
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+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br>
-[[Categoria:Geometria]]
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Rettangolo: differenze tra le versioni

Versione delle 13:02, 14 set 2016

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