No: differenze tra le versioni

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Riga 1: Riga 1:
No, mi rifiuto di scrivere questa pagina
[[File:Noooo.gif|thumb|right|640px]]
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{{cit|No.|La prima parola imparata dai bambini}}
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Il '''No''' è la negazione per eccellenza e si utilizza soprattutto per scacciare i [[testimoni di geova|venditori porta a porta]].
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
== L'essenza del No in sclero ==
O
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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NOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOONOOOONONONONOOOO

da non confondersi con
[[nonno|NONNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNOOOOOOO
NONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNONONNO!]]
== Storia ==
Molte centinaia di tavolette d'argilla, recanti la scritta ''NO!'', so'''no''' state recentemente trovate in una [[tomba]] [[babilonesi|babilonese]].
Il termine è un [[acronimo]] che significa ''"'''N'''essuno '''O'''si"'', attribuito al re babilonese Saddamhurrabi I, e riferito spesso al nemico storico: gli americanesi.<br />
Durante l'Impero roma'''no''', si tennero i giuochi del ''NO NO NOOOO!'', voluti dall'imperatore Adria'''no'''.<br />
L'utilizzo moder'''no''' di questa negazione, consente una svariata gamma di negazioni, dal ''"{{small|no}}"'' delicato da [[dama]] di compagnia, al {{dimensione|140%|"NO"}} rude, da scaricatore di porto.

== Curiosità ==
* In [[Giappone]] è una forma di teatro (il teatro NO), molto popolare in cui gli attori recita'''no''' inni al NO, in varie tonalità. Il tentativo di importare quest'arte in occidente è fallito causando svariate migliaia di [[Suicidio di massa|suicidi di massa]].
* Questo termine fu usato molto spesso da [[Mario Magnotta]] nelle sue chiamate al direttore della [[San Giorgio]] mentre discuteva con un linguaggio tipico della [[De philosophia Mosconum|Filosofia Mosconiana]]. Famosi so'''no''' i "NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (''[[Citazione necessaria]]'') che ha pronunciato al proprietario della [[Bontempi]] in seguito a una suo atto di generosità nel volerlo aiutare nella questione della [[lavatrice]]. Si dice che i "NO" sia'''no''' stati emessi con una intensità di 197 dB, ben oltre la soglia del dolore e sia'''no''' stati sentiti addirittura dallo stesso [[Chuck Norris|Chuck '''No'''rris]] mentre stava girando la puntata speciale di Walker Texas Ranger del 30 febbraio 1992 in o'''no'''re del suo complean'''no'''. Chuck '''No'''rris, distratto dal Mag'''no'''tta, lo ha punito con una maledizione che lo costringe a inserire alme'''no''' una [[bestemmia]] ogni 20 parole.
* Il "NO" può avere un'occasionale funzione anticoncezionale, a patto che sia assolutamente secco. L'umidità infatti ne inficia completamente l'efficacia rischiando addirittura di incentivare l'accoppiamento.

== Significato ==

''{{big|No}} <math> = (</math>{{big|Sì }}''<math>^{-1})</math>

Attenzione! Spesso '''no'''n tutti rico'''no'''sco'''no''' il significato della parola '''no''' (vedasi i venditori di rose nei ristoranti o per strada). In quel caso è necessario ripeterlo più volte, accompagnando la parola con il [[dito medio]] della ma'''no''' destra alzato, seg'''no''' rico'''no'''sciuto a livello internazionale che significa appunto: '''No''' (altrimenti detto: "fanne buon uso").

== Utilizzi pratici (ma anche... NO!) ==
=== Al sergente maggiore [[Hartman]] ===
- Tu succhi cazzi?<br />
- Signor NO, signore!<br />
- Ci soffi dentro per gonfiarli?<br />
- Signor NO, signore!

=== Al governo ===
- Ci date 360 milioni di euro per danni?<br />
- NO!

=== Al semaforo ===
- Capo, vuole lavo vetro?<br />
- NO!

- Capo, vuole accendino a 3 euri?<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un pervertito (caso particolare) ===
- Se ti chiedessi di fare sesso con me, mi daresti la stessa risposta che daresti a questa domanda?<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un bullo ===
- Dammi tutti i tuoi soldi.<br />
- NO! <br />
- [[POW!]]

=== Al camaleonte dei sofficini ===
- Tu non hai fame? <br />
- NO!

=== Al fotografo ===
- Me lo fai un bel sorriso?<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un venditore porta a porta ===
- Salve, è in offerta a soli 99,99 euro un...<br />
- (''tira un gancio destro in faccia'') NO!

=== Sul lavoro ===
- [[Fantozzi]], porta quelle pratiche al 18° piano al rag. Filini<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un povero che chiede l'elemosina ===
- Mi può dare 2 euro? Sono povero e devo mantenere 3 figli [[nerd]]...<br />
- NO!

=== In [[automobile|auto]] ===
- Favorisca patente e libretto.<br />
- NO!

- Sei in quarta fila [[gay]]! Sparisci subito o esco dall'auto!<br />
- NO!

=== Per strada ===
- Scusi, potrebbe...<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma io volevo sol..<br />
- '''NO!!!!'''

=== In carcere ===
- Raccoglimi la saponetta!<br />
- NO!

=== In sala operatoria ===
- Hai riempito la bombola di [[anestesia|anestetico]]?<br />
- NO!

- Mi passi il bisturi...è urgentissimo altrimenti il paziente morirà all'istante.<br />
- NO!

=== A scuola ===
- Dammi subito il libretto!<br />
- NO!<br />
- Devo chiamare il [[preside]]?<br />
- NO!<br />
- E allora che facciamo?<br />
- NO!

- Sai la formula dell'Anidride Nitrosa (II)?<br />
- NO!<br />
- Giusto! Perché non esiste e...<br />
- NO!

=== Dal becchino ===
- Fatemi uscire da qui! Sono ancora vivo!<br />
- NO!

=== Contraccezione orale ===
- Me la dai? <br />
- NO!

=== [[Testimoni di Geova]] ===
- Signora, le lascio il volantino. <br />
- NO!

=== Approccio ===
- [[Sesso|Mi fai fare un giro sulle tue curve?]]<br />
- NO!

=== A [[Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] ===
- Luke, io sono tuo padre!<br />
- NO!

=== In caserma ===
- Lei è colpevole!<br />
- NO!

=== Su Nonciclopedia ===
- Cerca "No"<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un sordo ===
- Hai detto di no?<br />
- NO!

=== Caso particolare ===
- Sai dire ''no''?<br />
- NO!

=== A prescindere ===
- Ma tu...<br />
- NO!

=== A Novara ===
- Scusi, ci dice la sua targa?<br />
- NO!

=== Nevrotico ===
- ...<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma non ho dett...!<br />
- NO!

=== Stupido ===
- Non dire no! <br />
- NO! NO! NO! NO! <br />
- L'hai detto ancora? <br />
- NO!

=== Simpsonico ===
- D'OH!!

=== Cadendo giù da un burrone ===
- {{big|NOOOOO}}OOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo{{small|ooooooooooooooooo}}..........
SPLAT.

=== Momenti d'affetto ===
- Ti voglio bene, anche tu vero?<br />
- NO!

- Mi ami?<br />
- NO!

=== Secchione al compito in classe ===
- Psss, mi dici quanto ti dà l'esercizio 3?<br />
- NO!

=== Quello che gli chiedeva l'esercizio e il secchione ===
- Dovete fare un'uscita di classe domani?<br />
- NO!

=== Professori vs vesciche ===
- Posso andare in bagno?<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma perché!<br />
- NO!

=== A Gandalf ===
- Posso passare?<br />
- NO!

=== [[Totò Riina|Ad un noto cittadino corleonese]] ===
- Forse siamo stati troppo arroganti con gli sbirri...?<br />
- NO!

=== Davanti a una bomba ===
- Taglia il filo rosso o moriremo tutti.<br />
- NO!

=== Alla moglie in punto di morte ===
- Mi sei sempre stato fedele, vero?<br />
- NO!

=== A Leonida ===
- Questa è SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!<br />
- NO!

=== A tuo padre ===
- Figlio mio, è da trent'anni che non ti vedo, ho sperato ogni giorno di poterti rivedere, ma sei proprio tu?<br />
- NO!

=== All'esame di stato ===
- Ragazzo mio, che ne dici di un bel 100 e lode?<br />
- NO!

=== A Dio ===
- Vuoi raggiungere il Paradiso?<br />
- NO!

=== In caso di vittoria ===
- Hai vinto alla lotteria! Ti basta solo ritirare il premio.<br />
- NO!

=== [[Doppio senso]] ===
- Se dici No vuol dire No?<br />
- NO!

=== Sull'altare ===
- Vuoi prendere questa donna come tua legittima sposa per amarla e onorarla in salute e in malattia in ri...<br />
- NO!

=== Geppetto a Pinocchio ===
- Mi dici ancora bugie?<br />
- NO!

=== A Gerry Scotti ===
- La accendiamo?<br />
- NO!

=== In guerra ===
- Sparate!<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma ci uccideran...<br />
- NO!<br />
- AHHHHHHHH<br />
- NO!<br />
- Che ti avevo det...<br />
- NO!

=== Ad una vecchietta ===
- Figliuolo, mi aiuteresti ad attraversare la strada?<br />
- NO!

=== Durante un terremoto ===
- Correte!! Viaaaaaaa!!!<br />
- NO!

=== La mamma ===
- Basta! Stasera a letto senza cena!<br />
- NO!<br />
- Cosa hai detto?<br />
- NO!<br />
- Chiamo papà e ti faccio bastonare!<br />
- mmm...<br />
- Che c'è?<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un incerto ===
- Ne sei proprio sicuro? <br />
- NO!

=== Mentre i vigili del fuoco cercano di disinnescare una bomba ===
- Levati o salterai in aria! <br />
- NO!

=== Con le mani davanti agli occhi ===
- Indovina chi sono!<br />
- NO!

===[[C'è posta per te|Ad un programma televisivo]]===
- Allora apriamo la busta?<br />
- NO!

=== Uno strano tipo in chiesa ===
- Le posso illustrare le curiose particolarità dalla cattedrale?<br />
- NO!

===Verso le undici di sera===
- Andate a letto!<br />
- NO!

===Al prete===
- Vuoi confessarti, figliuolo?<br />
- NO!<br />
- E allora perché sei qui?<br />
- NO!<br />
- Che risposta è que...<br />
- NO!

=== Ad un nonciclopediano ===
- Nonciclopedia è l'enciclopedia libera...<br />
- NO!

=== A Chuck Norris ===
- Io sono il supremo!<br />
- NO!<br />
- [[POW!]]

=== A un PK in un qualunque gioco online ===
- Headshot!<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma se ti ho col...<br />
- NO!<br />
- Ma ti dico che dovresti essere...<br />
- NO!<br />
- Cheater di mer...<br />
- NO!<br />
- *suicidio del PK*<br />
- ... NO!

=== Al citofono ===
- C'è Gigi?<br />
- NO!<br />
- E la cremeria?<br />
- NO!<br />
- ...

=== Alla tua ragazza ===
- Questa nott...<br />
- NO!

=== A [[Gordon Ramsay]] ===
- Cazzo Jean, apri il fottutissimo Hell's Kitchen!<br />
- NO!

== Reperti video sulla famosa negazione ==
{{YoutubeVideo|dVpDMmsixhQ|position=left|caption=[[Sonic]] ti chiarisce il concetto di '''no'''}}{{Spazio|all=1}}


{{YoutubeVideo|MKjFT4Arcaw|position=left|caption='''NOOOO...OOOO...OOOO...OOOO...'''}}{{Spazio|all=1}}


{{YoutubeVideo|uVdx_uQDp58|position=left|caption=L'uomo del burrone ha detto...}}{{Spazio|all=1}}


{{YoutubeVideo|Eal4fep7pK4|position=left|caption=Vari modi di dire NO}}{{Spazio|all=1}}



[[Categoria:Lingua italiana]]

[[en:Nooooooooooooooooooo!]]
[[eo:Ne]]
[[es:No]]
[[ko:No]]

Versione delle 20:28, 8 ott 2015

No, mi rifiuto di scrivere questa pagina 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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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