Anonymous: differenze tra le versioni

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[[File:Simbolo della lulzsec con tramonto, luna, nave pirata e twitter in decollo sullo sfondo.jpg|right|thumb|400px|''"Noi della LulzSec siamo belli e colorati!"'']]
{{Cit2|Nascondi ciò che sono e aiutami a trovare la maschera più adatta alle mie intenzioni.|Invocazione propiziatoria a [[TOR]] e [[Firefox|Foxy proxy]] recitata dagli Anonymous prima di un attacco DDoS.}}

{{Cit2|Noi siamo una regione! No, no... siamo una cagione! Una magione! Una... Per tutte le dentiere, com'è che era?|Un Anonymous un po' attempato tenta di minacciare il fruttivendolo, colpevole di aver aumentato i prezzi delle pesche tabacchiera.}}

{{Cit2|Yippi yeh yeh, figli di puttana.|[[Bruce Willis]] dopo aver fatto esplodere il proprio [[PC]] come soluzione in extremis ad un'intrusione degli Anonymous.}}

Gli '''Anonymous''' possono essere [[chiunque]] e [[ovunque]]: sono [[Tu|te]], sono tuo [[cugino]], sono quel simpatico [[vicino]] fracassone che non ti fa dormire, sono la [[cassiera]] che si dimentica di darti il [[resto]] al [[supermercato]], sono il terrore che svolazza nella notte, sono [[Sailor Moon]], e sono qui per punirti in nome della [[Luna]]!
{{Wikipedia|Anonymous}}
== La lunga storia degli Anonymous ==
[[File:Fake_al_computer.jpg|left|thumb|300px|Primi tentativi di proteggere la propria [[privacy]] da parte degli Anonymous; evidentemente si guardava all'economicità ma non alla praticità.]]
=== 4chan, l'imageboard in cui tutto ebbe inizio ===

Chi non conosce quei mattacchioni di [[4chan]], sempre intenti a produrre qualche nuovo [[meme]] da disperdere ai quattro angoli della [[internet|rete]]? Ebbene sì, è da qui che comincia la nostra [[storia]], dalle selvagge ed indomite lande di questo sito in cui tutto (o [[quasi]]) era permesso e in cui non esistevano utenti riconducibili a persone fisiche, ma solo una gran numero di [[anonimo|anonimi]], senza nome e senza [[avatar]], che tra un commento ad una gif [[lesbismo|lesbo]] e l'upload di un'allegra tavola [[hentai]] si sbeffeggiavano affibbiandosi l'un l'altro appellativi come ''"newfag"'', ''"oldfag"'' e qualsiasi altra cosa terminasse in ''-fag''. A quei tempi si viveva alla giornata, si sfruttava l'anonimato per fare scherzetti innocenti, come ad esempio presentarsi a casa delle ragazzine che diffondevano foto succinte sui vari *chan e spifferare tutto ai loro genitori; ma un giorno qualcuno guastò irrimediabilmente la pace di questo [[Eden]] con una sola, terribile frase:

{{quote|Chi fa la spia non è figlio di [[Madonna|Maria]]!}}

Neanche a dirlo, fu come gettare un dado Star nel [[brodo primordiale]]: la gioiosa [[infanzia]] degli Anonymous giunse al termine, e un'ombra minacciosa calò sull'umanità intera. Facendo a gomitate con quelle già presenti.

=== Sanguinose lotte intestine ===

Le parole, si sa, sono intrise di un enorme potere, e quelle sopracitate non facevano eccezione: furono infatti la causa della Grande Scissione del 2006, quando alcuni Anonymous illuminati da cotanta saggezza verbale decisero che era ora di finirla con gli scherzi stupidi e con tutti quei ''-fag''. Era ora di crescere e prendere parte attiva alle vicende del [[mondo]]! Sì, ma come?

Mentre la cerchia sempre più vasta di Anonymous "ribelli" faceva quadrato cercando un obiettivo da perseguire e scartando via via quelli più impossibili da raggiungere, come ad esempio guardare tutte le puntate di [[Inuyasha]], trattenere la [[pipì]] per una giornata intera o percorrere la [[Salerno-Reggio Calabria]] in 80 giorni, gli Anonymous "conservatori" continuavano a dedicarsi alle solite attività facendo finta di nulla.
[[File:Privacy scarf.jpg|right|thumb|300px|No, ancora non ci siamo.]]

Siccome non c'è niente di più provocatorio e irritante del [[far finta di nulla]] quando un cambiamento è in atto, i ribelli si ribellarono e i conservatori conservarono, scatenando con questi atti estremi una lotta all'ultimo sangue, trionfo di strategie cervellotiche volte a far cadere di malagrazia l'avversario; la vicenda terminò con i ribelli che conservavano e i conservatori che si ribellavano, ovvero con l'inevitabile Grande Scissione menzionata precedentemente.

=== Finalmente arriva la celebrità ===

Fu col boom del caso [[Wikileaks]] che gli Anonymous attivisti decisero finalmente a quale obiettivo dedicarsi: sostenere [[Julian Assange|Assange]] e la libertà d'informazione; scartata l'idea di vendere biscotti porta a porta<ref>Difficilmente qualcuno aprirebbe la porta a delle girlscout con la [[maschera di Guy Fawkes]].</ref> per sensibilizzare l'[[opinione pubblica]], optarono per una più accessibile rappresaglia informatica su scala mondiale; infatti gran parte del [[collettivo]] era composto da [[Hacker|smanettoni]], che per la prima volta nella propria vita aveva l'occasione di fare qualcosa di veramente emozionante.

In quattro e [[quattrocchi]] decisero quali targets colpire, organizzarono le truppe d'assalto, riunite sotto il nome di ''"AnonOps"'' e diedero il via all'operazione ''"Assangia questo!"'', mentre coloro che erano stati tagliati fuori dalla parte pratica dell'operazione rimasero nelle retrovie a [[LOL|lollare]], dando origine ad una nuova sottoaggregazione degli Anonymous: la ''"LulzSec"''.

Vittime dell'attacco, che assunse rilevanza mondiale, tanto che ne parlarono tutti i [[TG]] e che i [[fratelli Wachowski]] ne trassero ispirazione per uno dei loro film, furono il sito della [[Visa]] e quello dell'altrettanto nota [[MasterCard]], che si erano rifiutate di finanziare la mensile seduta di [[lifting]] della nonnina di Assange, oltre agli account [[Facebook]] di numerosi politici americani, le cui foto del profilo vennero sostituite per ripicca con quelle delle loro nonne, ritoccate in modo da essere prive dei lineamenti del volto.

== Organizzazione generale del collettivo ==
[[File:Bsod cinema.jpg|left|thumb|300px|Volevate gustarvi l'ultimo [[cinepanettone]] in santa pace, eh? E invece no, gli Anonymous non lasciano impuniti nemmeno i [[film]] di cattivo gusto!]]
Abbiamo già appreso che ci sono stati molti rimescolamenti degli Anonymous in tavola, durante tutti questi anni; adesso vediamo un po' più nel dettaglio quali sono i vari dipartimenti operativi del collettivo e di cosa si occupano:

=== AnonOps ===

Si tratta, in sintesi, del quartier generale di Anonymous, responsabile della pianificazione delle varie operazioni di ''"hacktivismo"'', un termine che vorrebbe suggerire all'opinione pubblica che sarebbe molto cortese riuscire finalmente a distinguerli dai {{citnec|brutti, brutti e cattivi [[Cracker|crackers]]}}, ma che in realtà non suggerisce proprio un bel niente. In effetti non è facile far recepire qualcosa di nuovo ad una folla di cervelli costantemente messi in lavatrice a 60°, con una spruzzatina di [[Tg5]], un misurino de [[L'Arena]] di [[Giletti]] e un cubotto di [[Barbara d'Urso]]: è ampiamente prevedibile che dopo un paio di lavaggi del genere si riducano ad una pappetta informe.

=== LulzSec ===

Loro lollano. Lollano quando i siti delle grandi aziende e dei [[Governo|governi]] cadono sotto gli attacchi degli hacktivisti, lollano quando i [[tg]] parlano di loro in modo scorretto, e soprattutto lollano quando l'[[FBI]] arresta qualche presunto Anonymous, precipitandosi su [[Twitter]] a scrivere cose come:
[[File:Militare_senza_viso_anonimo.png|right|thumb|300px|Certo che questi Anonymous sono proprio avanti: hanno infiltrati anche tra le forze armate!]]

{{quote|Ah-ha! Io sono ancora in libertà, marameo! Lulz!}}

Mentre gli altri Anonymous cercano di mantenere un approccio un po' più posato alla questione, twittando i soliti ''"Potete fermare un uomo, ma non un'idea"'' e così via. Se non altro quelli della Lulz Section sono un po' più originali.

Insieme, LulzSec e AnonOps formano l''''AntiSec''', giusto equilibrio tra strategia e [[LOL]], ovvero l'arma definitiva che provoca [[incontinenza]] alla [[polizia postale|polizia informatica]].

=== Tutti gli altri ===

Se c'è una cosa estremamente chiara nella filosofia degli Anonymous, è che chiunque può dire ''"Ehi, io sono un Anonymous!"'' senza dover prima acconsentire all'acquisto di un'enciclopedia universale in [[118]] volumi, mettersi in contatto con l'AntiSec o finanche conoscere l'esatto significato di ciò che sta dicendo; persino il vostro [[gatto|micio]] potrebbe scorrazzare in giardino con indosso un mantellino e una mini maschera di Fawkes senza chiedere prima il permesso ai padroni!<ref>L'[[Autore di questo articolo]] sconsiglia tuttavia tali brutali maltrattamenti agli animali, si dissocia da ogni azione che potrebbe essere stata ispirata dalla lettura di [[questo articolo]] e si augura che tutte le bestiole di casa abbiano la possibilità di distruggere le dimore dei propri padroni senza essere ingiustamente sgridate.</ref>

È per questo motivo che spesso vengono arrestati e subito rilasciati [[Ragazzino di tredici anni|ragazzini brufolosi]] la cui unica [[colpa]] è di sollazzarsi un po' su [[4chan]], o di usare [[Nickname|nicknames]] contenenti le parole ''"Lulz"'', ''"Pirate"'' o ''"Anonymous"'', mentre gli agenti di polizia sono costretti a balbettare alcune scuse imbarazzate alle famiglie e a sorbirsi infinite lavate di capo da parte dei propri superiori.

== [[Modus operandi]] ==

Quando un attacco degli Anonymous viene portato a compimento, noi distratti fruitori del [[Internet|web]] dalle nostre poltroncine girevoli vediamo solo il prodotto finito; tuttavia c'è un grande [[lavoro]] dietro ogni risultato di questo tipo.

Innanzitutto l'AntiSec deve decidere il target, e per giungere a tale obiettivo si riunisce quotidianamente su [[IRC]], non prima di aver invitato l'intera popolazione mondiale a partecipare, invito che solitamente viene accettato da circa un centinaio di persone, di cui probabilmente 50 sono agenti di [[polizia]], [[FBI]], [[Interpol]] e detectives privati infagottati in impermeabili alla [[Humphrey Bogart]] che puntualmente ne approfittano per tentare di identificare codesti problematici Signor [[Nessuno]], e altrettanto puntualmente rimangono delusi, finendo per mangiarsi il cappello.

Dopo i convenevoli, accompagnati da qualche tazza di [[tè]] e pasticcini raffermi, si passa ai fatti: le solite quindici persone propongono il nome di un'azienda o di un governo da colpire, aggiungendo ovviamente una motivazione che non sia ''"perché è [[Cacca|schifo]][[cacca]][[Cacca|pupù]]!"'', e se nessuno ha da obiettare si passa all'azione.

Questa è in effetti la parte più elettrizzante e insieme la più misteriosa dell'intero procedimento, in quanto sappiamo più o meno cosa dovrebbe succedere, ma non sappiamo ancora spiegare come sia possibile: in parole povere, le truppe hacktiviste riescono a lanciare un numero tale di richieste al sito da loro puntato, che questi va down senza problemi; non resta che perforarne le difese e inserire lugubri esseri senza faccia dalla ricercata teatralità in homepage. L'ultimo esempio in tal senso è stato il sito del [[Censimento 2011]].

Segue, infine, qualche comunicato ufficiale su pastebin che passerà inosservato a meno che qualche quotidiano a tiratura nazionale non decida che vale la pena parlarne per rigirare un po' la frittata e intortare per bene il [[Italiano medio|cittadino medio]] nel modo predefinito.

Rimane ancora da chiarire come diamine facciano a lanciare una mole così enorme di richieste in un così breve lasso di tempo, dato che per riuscire a mettere in crisi un sito solitamente ci vogliono almeno 100.000 collegamenti in contemporanea. Dove troveranno tutta quella gente? Uhm...


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{{Dimensione|125%|'''Sei il nostro 1000000 visitatore! Non è uno scherzo! {{u|[[POW!|<font style="color:yellow;">Clicca qui</font>]]}} per ritirare il tuo FANTASTICO PREMIO!!!!!'''}}
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Probabilmente non lo scopriremo [[mai]].

== Anonymous vs. the World ==
[[File:Bambini di diverse etnie intorno alla terra.gif|left|thumb|300px|Ecco, guardate questi [[Bambino|bambini]]: dovremmo seguire il loro esempio, liberarci dall'[[odio]] e fare un allegro giro giro tondo insieme agli Anonymous intorno all'esosfera terrestre!]]
Facendo un rapido calcolo che coinvolge le coordinate geografiche di coloro che hanno subito l'ira funesta degli Anonymous dagli inizi fino ad [[oggi]], oltre che delle testate giornalistiche, dei governi, dei netturbini, dei venditori porta a porta e dei divi delle telenovele che ce l'hanno con loro perché sì, otterremo la seguente formula:

{{Allinea|center|<math>\iiint_{P} \, \rho^2 \sin \theta \cdot d\rho\,d\theta d\phi</math>}}

Si tratta di un [[integrale]] triplo definito nel dominio ''P'', che va dal punto corrispondente al nostro [[Polo Sud]] fino al [[Polo Nord]], e che dà come risultato, guarda un po', il [[volume]] totale dell'intero [[pianeta]] [[Terra]], il che non vuol dire che tutta la popolazione mondiale sia ostile agli Anonymous; bisogna prima eliminare alcune categorie di persone di cui la formula non tiene conto:

# gli Anonymous stessi, il cui numero verrà arrotondato per comodità a 3 milioni, sebbene si abbia il forte sospetto che in realtà siano molti meno;
# i simpatizzanti, che non possono essere più di 5 milioni;
# gli [[ignavia|ignavi]], che quando andranno all'[[Inferno]] saranno costretti a rincorrere insegne vuote per l'eternità e che non possono essere meno di 302 milioni;
# i poveracci che vivono nei Paesi del [[Terzo Mondo]] e che hanno sicuramente altro a cui pensare, all'incirca 2,5 miliardi di persone.

Sottraendo questi numeri dai sei miliardi di esseri umani presenti su questo [[pianeta]], otteniamo un risultato approssimativo di tre miliardi di nemici.

Ok, non sarà proprio tutto il mondo, ma si tratta in ogni caso di un insieme di proporzioni indubbiamente rispettabili, che gli Anonymous hanno intenzione di far aumentare esponenzialmente in futuro.

=== Progetti futuri ===

Dopo essersi fatti odiare da [[Scientology]] per non averli lasciati giocare a [[nascondino]] con alcuni video shock, dopo aver preso possesso per via [[telematica]] dell'intero ufficio della società di sicurezza HBGary Federal, distributori automatici compresi, ma soprattutto dopo aver risposto con metaforiche pernacchie alle minacce di [[censura]] e denunce piovute dai quattro angoli del globo terracqueo, gli Anonymous sono ancora ben lontani dall'andare in [[pensione]], anzi, hanno annunciato che il [[5 novembre]] assisteremo ad un enorme attacco a sorpresa; non è stato tuttavia specificato se faranno saltare in aria il [[Parlamento inglese]], [[Facebook]] o qualche petardo colorato, né tanto meno se l'azione sarà accompagnata dall'Ouverture 1812 di [[Tchaikovsky]]. In effetti non hanno specificato nemmeno l'anno preciso in cui è prevista questa spettacolare sorpresa, ma visto il loro noto motto:

{{quote| Noi siamo Anonymous.
Noi siamo una Legione.

Noi non dimentichiamo.

Noi non perdoniamo.
Aspettateci, sempre.}}

Non si può far altro che seguire il loro consiglio e aspettare. E magari cominciare a [[Cagarsi addosso|cagarsi sotto]].

== Voci correlate ==
*[[Anonimo]]
*[[Hacker]]
*[[V per Vendetta]]
*[[Maschera di Guy Fawkes]]
*[[Julian Assange]]
*[[Wikileaks]]

== Link esterni ==
* [http://twitter.com/#!/anonitaly Twitter ufficiale di Anonymous Italia]
* [http://twitter.com/#!/LulzSecITALY Twitter ufficiale di LulzSec Italia]
* [http://twitter.com/#!/anonops_ita Twitter ufficiale di AnonOps Italia]
* [http://www.livestream.com/anontvitaly Torna a casa in tutta fretta, c'è un Anon che ti aspetta!]
* [http://anonplus.bombshellz.net/ Anonplus, creato con l'antimateria di Google Plus.]

== Note ==
{{legginote}}
{{note}}
{{Portali|Informatica}}

[[Categoria:Nerd]]
[[Categoria:Movimenti]]

[[fr:Anonymous]]
[[lv:Anonīms]]

Versione delle 20:26, 8 ott 2015

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Estratto da "https://nonciclopedia.org/wiki/Anonymous?oldid=1827147"