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{{Cit|''Phénomène optique et météorologique qui rend visible le spectre continu de la lumière du soleil quand il brille pendant la pluie ou sur des gouttelettes (jet d'eau, chute d'eau, etc.). C'est un arc coloré, dont l'œil humain distingue sept couleurs : rouge, orange, jaune, vert, bleu, indigo et violet.''|Dizionario di francese su L'Arc~en~Ciel}}
{{Cit|''Phénomène optique et météorologique qui rend visible le spectre continu de la lumière du soleil quand il brille pendant la pluie ou sur des gouttelettes (jet d'eau, chute d'eau, etc.). C'est un arc coloré, dont l'œil humain distingue sept couleurs : rouge, orange, jaune, vert, bleu, indigo et violet.''|Dizionario di francese su L'Arc~en~Ciel}}
{{Cit|Ricorderò sempre con gioia il 19 febbraio del 1997. Mi trovavo in una prigione giapponese…|Oscar Wilde sul culo di Sakura}}
{{Cit|Ricorderò sempre con gioia il 19 febbraio del 1997. Mi trovavo in una prigione giapponese…|Oscar Wilde sul culo di Sakura}}
{{Cit|I was going to rise from R'lyeh then, but by stories were on.|Cthulhu|Feb 29 1997}}
{{Cit|IÄ IÄ Yog Sothoth! His old dominion mankind now rules blithely, but they will return here greedy and malevolent. Oh, come let us implore them, oh come let us restore them, great olde ones!|Sakura|The Olde Ones}}
{{Cit|IÄ IÄ Yog Sothoth! His old dominion mankind now rules blithely, but they will return here greedy and malevolent. Oh, come let us implore them, oh come let us restore them, great olde ones!|Sakura|The Olde Ones}}
{{Cit|Nice ass.|Kirito|Sakura}}
{{Cit|Che bel culo|Kirito su Sakura}}
{{Cit|You too.|Sakura|Kirito}}
{{Cit|Anche il tuo|Sakura su Kirito}}
{{Cit|Nessuno vuole fare sesso anale con me!!|Yukihiro sul sesso}}
{{Cit|In America.|Bandit Keith|L'Arc}}
{{Cit|QUAL È lLA DIFFERENZA CON P'UNK~EN~CIEL??|Qualcuno su L'Arc en Ciel}}
{{Cit|No one wants to have buttsex with me!!|Yukihiro|Sex}}
{{Cit|È lo stessa cosa, cambia solo il caps|Qualcun'altro su P'unk en Ciel}}<br /><br />
{{Cit|3 stars out of 5... Don't ask me why|[[Roger Ebert]]|Laruku}}
{{Cit|WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN P'UNK EN CIEL?|People|L'arc en Ciel}}
{{Cit|It's same but with ALL CAPS|Another People|P'unk en Ciel}}
{{Cit|P'unk isn't Engrish, American!|Otaku|P'unk}}


{{Wikipediapar|L'Arc~en~Ciel}}
{{Wikipediapar|L'Arc~en~Ciel}}


''L'Arc~en~Ciel'' are a [[jrock]] band with an incredibly complex and [[gay]] name. Because of this, they are known as laruku or L'Arc. It's second edition named P'unk en Ciel and is it engrish? However, their management is so anal, that the only [[spelling]] of the band's name they accept is L'Arc~en~Ciel, not l'arc-en-ciel or L'Arc en ciel or heaven forbid L'Arc~en~ciel. Also, all three members' names are [[hide|not to be capitalized]] while they're in the band, but are at all times to be fully capitalized when they are performing or recording as a solo artist, whereas simply capitalizing the first letter of their names like a normal person would is verbotenOMGFAIL WHO CARES!??!ONE L'Arc are famous for not having multi-colored hair even though they are, to quote their leader "not [[visual kei|visual]]!!!!!!!!omgusuk!" They are best known for being the band that Hyde/hyde/HYDE/midget is a part of. Their music is generally quite varied in genre and style except songs written by Tetsu which all sound the same in America. L'Arc have been to [[America]] and are thus an [[Dir en grey|American band]]. They are all [[dork]]s and extremely lulzworthy. lol sakura who?
''L'Arc~en~Ciel'' è una band J-Rock con un nome terribilmente complicato, oltre che stupido, infatti la band è conosciuta anche come Laruku o L'Arc. It's second edition named P'unk en Ciel and is it engrish? L'unico spelling che accettano è L'Arc~en~Ciel, non l'arc-en-ciel o L'Arc en ciel o (non sia mai!) L'Arc~en~ciel. Inoltre, i nomi dei componenti non devono mai essere scritti in maiuscolo quando essi sono nella band, ma devono sempre essere scritti in maiuscolo quando si esibiscono in qualità di solisti. Scrivere solo la prima lettera in stampatello, come farebbe una persona normale, è proibito. Insomma, chissene! I L'Arc non hanno i capelli color arcobaleno perché, come afferma il loro leader, '''non''' sono Visual Kei (davvero?). Il motivo principale della loro fama è che Hyde/hyde/HYDE è il loro cantante. La loro musica è molto varia in genere e stile, fatta eccezione per le canzoni scritte da Tetsu, che sembrano tutte uguali se ascoltate da un orecchio occidentale. L'Arc have been to America and are thus an American band. They are all dorks and extremely lulzworthy. Sakura chi??


This article written by [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Bandit Keith]] in America. [[Image:Larcdrunk.jpg|thumb|"MOAR!!!" -Ken during a standard L'Arc~en~Ciel concert.]]
Questo articolo è stato scritto da [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Bandit Keith]] in America. [[Image:Larcdrunk.jpg|thumb|"MOAR!!!" -Ken during a standard L'Arc~en~Ciel concert.]]


=Membri attuali=
=Band Members=


==Hyde aka the only one you've ever heard of thanks to [[fangirl]]s==
==Hyde, ovvero l'unico di cui abbiate mai sentito parlare grazie alle fungirl==
[[Image:HydeBirdhead.jpg|thumb|Hyde has absolutely impeccable choice in headwear.]]
[[Image:HydeBirdhead.jpg|thumb|Hyde has absolutely impeccable choice in headwear.]]


Hyde ha ammesso di essere pansessuale, ed è terribile peché le fungirl possono immaginarlo con delle pentole ("pan" in inglese, n.d.t.) e nonostante ciò continueranno a sperare di portarselo a letto se viene in occidente, possibilmente in una cucina, dove ovviamente ci sono molte pentole.<br />
Hyde is self-admittedly pansexual which is horrible because that means that fangirls can imagine him with pans and still hope to get in his pants in America, preferably in a kitchen where there are lots of pans. Hyde has been happily married for seven years and is the father of a three year old boy who has no name so we will call it Princess. Hyde is a [[The South|suthnuh]] and had to be taught to speak Standard [[Japanese]] by Sakura (no, RLY).
È stato felicemente sposato per sette anni ed è padre di un bambino di tre anni cui nome è sconosciuto, quindi lo chiameremo Principessa.<br />
Hyde è un terrone e Sakura deve ancora insegnargli a parlare correttamente il giapponese.<br /><br />


Sua madre voleca una femmina, e quando lui era ancora piccolo si è divertita a travestirlo da bambina più e più volte, cambiando così il suo orientamento sessuale in modo permanente. Hyde è famoso anche perché durante i primi anni di attività dei Laruku se ne andava in giro con lunghi abiti da donna e capelli altrettanto lunghi.
When Hyde was a youngun, his [[mom]] wanted to have a [[girl]] so she dressed him up as one and altered his proper sexual development forever. Hyde is well known for going around in dresses and long hair during the early years of L'Arc~en~Ciel.
Hyde is the vocalist of L'Arc~en~Ciel while smoking a pack a day, colour blind, also a guitarist, not an actor even though he's failed in two movies, and a die hard fan of [[Harry Potter]]. He is L'Arc's primary lyrics-writer, reveling in [[engrish]] at all times, and endowed with the power of scooty. He only writes three types of songs: Songs about Sakura, Songs about Megumi, and Songs about neither where common themes are his first girlfriend, [[murder|killing people]], and some sort of [[vampire]]. He came out with three solo albums, [[X-ray|Roentgen]] aka Maybe I Should Stop Dyeing My Eyebrows Blonde, [[666]] aka I Speak English Now, and Faith aka Can You Tell I'm Hanging Out With [[Marilyn Manson]] where he depicts himself as [[Raptor Jesus|Jesus]].
Hyde is the vocalist of L'Arc~en~Ciel while smoking a pack a day, colour blind, also a guitarist, not an actor even though he's failed in two movies, and a die hard fan of [[Harry Potter]]. He is L'Arc's primary lyrics-writer, reveling in [[engrish]] at all times, and endowed with the power of scooty. He only writes three types of songs: Songs about Sakura, Songs about Megumi, and Songs about neither where common themes are his first girlfriend, [[murder|killing people]], and some sort of [[vampire]]. He came out with three solo albums, [[X-ray|Roentgen]] aka Maybe I Should Stop Dyeing My Eyebrows Blonde, [[666]] aka I Speak English Now, and Faith aka Can You Tell I'm Hanging Out With [[Marilyn Manson]] where he depicts himself as [[Raptor Jesus|Jesus]].

Versione delle 20:03, 26 ago 2008

Template:Incostruzione Template:Traduzione

« Non capisco perché sono considerati tanto bravi, comunque Hyde è un figone!! »
(Tipica fun del J-Rock sui L’Arc)
« Guardate, soldi! »
(Tofu Records sui Laruku)
« Phénomène optique et météorologique qui rend visible le spectre continu de la lumière du soleil quand il brille pendant la pluie ou sur des gouttelettes (jet d'eau, chute d'eau, etc.). C'est un arc coloré, dont l'œil humain distingue sept couleurs : rouge, orange, jaune, vert, bleu, indigo et violet. »
(Dizionario di francese su L'Arc~en~Ciel)
« Ricorderò sempre con gioia il 19 febbraio del 1997. Mi trovavo in una prigione giapponese… »
(Oscar Wilde sul culo di Sakura)
« IÄ IÄ Yog Sothoth! His old dominion mankind now rules blithely, but they will return here greedy and malevolent. Oh, come let us implore them, oh come let us restore them, great olde ones! »
(Sakura)
« Che bel culo »
(Kirito su Sakura)
« Anche il tuo »
(Sakura su Kirito)
« Nessuno vuole fare sesso anale con me!! »
(Yukihiro sul sesso)
« QUAL È lLA DIFFERENZA CON P'UNK~EN~CIEL?? »
(Qualcuno su L'Arc en Ciel)
« È lo stessa cosa, cambia solo il caps »
(Qualcun'altro su P'unk en Ciel)




Per quelli che non hanno il senso dell'umorismo, su Wikipedia è presente una voce in proposito. L'Arc~en~Ciel

L'Arc~en~Ciel è una band J-Rock con un nome terribilmente complicato, oltre che stupido, infatti la band è conosciuta anche come Laruku o L'Arc. It's second edition named P'unk en Ciel and is it engrish? L'unico spelling che accettano è L'Arc~en~Ciel, non l'arc-en-ciel o L'Arc en ciel o (non sia mai!) L'Arc~en~ciel. Inoltre, i nomi dei componenti non devono mai essere scritti in maiuscolo quando essi sono nella band, ma devono sempre essere scritti in maiuscolo quando si esibiscono in qualità di solisti. Scrivere solo la prima lettera in stampatello, come farebbe una persona normale, è proibito. Insomma, chissene! I L'Arc non hanno i capelli color arcobaleno perché, come afferma il loro leader, non sono Visual Kei (davvero?). Il motivo principale della loro fama è che Hyde/hyde/HYDE è il loro cantante. La loro musica è molto varia in genere e stile, fatta eccezione per le canzoni scritte da Tetsu, che sembrano tutte uguali se ascoltate da un orecchio occidentale. L'Arc have been to America and are thus an American band. They are all dorks and extremely lulzworthy. Sakura chi??

Questo articolo è stato scritto da Bandit Keith in America.

File:Larcdrunk.jpg
"MOAR!!!" -Ken during a standard L'Arc~en~Ciel concert.

Membri attuali

Hyde, ovvero l'unico di cui abbiate mai sentito parlare grazie alle fungirl

File:HydeBirdhead.jpg
Hyde has absolutely impeccable choice in headwear.

Hyde ha ammesso di essere pansessuale, ed è terribile peché le fungirl possono immaginarlo con delle pentole ("pan" in inglese, n.d.t.) e nonostante ciò continueranno a sperare di portarselo a letto se viene in occidente, possibilmente in una cucina, dove ovviamente ci sono molte pentole.
È stato felicemente sposato per sette anni ed è padre di un bambino di tre anni cui nome è sconosciuto, quindi lo chiameremo Principessa.
Hyde è un terrone e Sakura deve ancora insegnargli a parlare correttamente il giapponese.

Sua madre voleca una femmina, e quando lui era ancora piccolo si è divertita a travestirlo da bambina più e più volte, cambiando così il suo orientamento sessuale in modo permanente. Hyde è famoso anche perché durante i primi anni di attività dei Laruku se ne andava in giro con lunghi abiti da donna e capelli altrettanto lunghi.

Hyde is the vocalist of L'Arc~en~Ciel while smoking a pack a day, colour blind, also a guitarist, not an actor even though he's failed in two movies, and a die hard fan of Harry Potter. He is L'Arc's primary lyrics-writer, reveling in engrish at all times, and endowed with the power of scooty. He only writes three types of songs: Songs about Sakura, Songs about Megumi, and Songs about neither where common themes are his first girlfriend, killing people, and some sort of vampire. He came out with three solo albums, Roentgen aka Maybe I Should Stop Dyeing My Eyebrows Blonde, 666 aka I Speak English Now, and Faith aka Can You Tell I'm Hanging Out With Marilyn Manson where he depicts himself as Jesus.

Hyde's brain only possesses three braincells, one concerned with sex, one other with music, the last with food. The remaining brain matter is comprised of anti-braincells which infect him with a love of curry rice, which keeps Gackt at bay. Anti-braincells breed within him, and he must make donations to other jrockers in order to survive, making Hyde responsible for anything stupid that's happened lately in Japan. His donations of anti-brainicells can be tracked to other J-rockers with a similar appreciation for this delectable, such as Mana.

He has been known to laugh maniacally for no reason, chase after speeding cars on foot, collect products made of blue glass, fear octopi, love takoyaki (but wait there's octopus in them thar balls), and delight unreasonably in saying the F word loudly like a little child. He has the nervous habit of blinking when he's nervous, blushing uncontrollably around his wife for whom he is so totally hot, and licking his lips subconsciously. Over 9000 fangirls claim to be married to Hyde and methodically plan Megumi's doom. Luckily, she got a nosejob and is therefore superior.

Hyde was born on Jan 29th 1969; 28 years later, one month after his birthday, Feb 29 1997 would happen. Hyde co-starred in the movie "MoonChild" as a vampire, which did nothing to help his fascination with them and only served to prove what an "awesome" actor he is.

Tetsu aka Cheerleader

File:TETSUKO.jpg
It's a trap!
File:Sugimori258.png
This mudkip will nevar 4get.

Tetsu is the bassist and leader of L'Arc~en~Ciel and their Big Brother. It is a well known fact that Tetsu, bassist and grand leader of L'Arc~en~Ciel (in case you forgot), lieks mudkips. Tetsu should not be confused with Tetsu Takano, vocalist of the best band ever. Because of this, Tetsu will henceforth be referred to as TETSU. Another reason for the spelling TETSU is that this is his retarderated idea of how to spell his name as a solo artist. He is an avid fan of Animu, especially Gundam and Evangelion, the latter of which he has spread to the rest of the band like AIDS. He has multiple personalities, detailed below:

  • TETSUKO

TETSU's self insert. This is who TETSU is at his very core: a woman. A beguiling foxy woman in kitten heels. American kitten heels.

  • TETSU 69

TETSU's gay self. Is apparently a secret agent of some sort. Srsly man, 69? Has terrible fashion sense just like the original TETSU.

  • TERRY TETZ

Whatever straightness Tetsu could conjure from his soul is embodied in Terry Tetz, a boy who lives only to hit on his female counterpart, TETSUKO. Sadly, the amout of possible straightness conjured was both slight and marred, reflected in this straight man wearing a cabin boy's outfit in America. He goes after TETSUKO every day "but nobody has seen he successfully did it." Which according to grammar means he totally snogged TETSUKO but nobody saw it in America.

  • TEZMAN

TEZMAN is a seriously scary little imp or plastic figure which is six inches high and rides around on a rocket (see: phallic imagery). It is apparently TETSU 69's manager or perhaps his Agent Zed, in either case it lives to cause nightmares and is continuously pointing.

  • TETZ J. WILLIAMS

The coolest one of the bunch, possessor of a stache and bobby club, and upholder of the law in Britain. He is friendly and likes British karaoke and sweets. TETZ J. WILLIAMS is well aware that the internets are serious business in Britain.

Tetsuko has been dressing in women's clothing as long as anyone can remember, even appearing in music videos as such, and she's never stopped. She owns over 100 bass guitars in storage somewhere left unplayed, otherwise loves to shop and go to the mall, like ok? When not shopping, she is an infamous cheapskate. L'Arc~en~Ciel has always been her dream, and she's lead it through thick and thin one wig at a time. She also has a temper on her so watch out, cause she drinks like a fish but covers it up. Tetsuko is currently working on a project to wipe somebody from the face of history, but we can't remember who. Tetsuko is getting married to a lovely model by the name of Ayana. This will be the first officially sanctioned gay marriage in Japan. The only logical conclusion to be drawn from this is that Tetsuko has found the one woman in the world as hakun insane as she is.

Ken aka So-and-So

Ken assumes his nocturnal form to spy on young couples.

Ken is a dolphin, owns two cats (Elizabeth Slick and Juliet) and a dog (not a cat so it doesn't count for a name), and is an all around cool guy and jokester and not a furry thank God. He is also Eva08. He lives a life of love and occasional win and has many man points while smoking. He has been married unsuccessfully twice, one time to a girl he met in an elevator while smoking. The guitarist of L'Arc and Hyde's favourite composer, Ken's compositional style is varied and manufactured of condensed WIN and cat hair. When the rest of L'Arc went on to solo careers, Ken did not but rather started up the band Sons Of All Pussys (aka SOAP) with Ein the Really Cool German Guy and some other dude. During the course of SOAP, Ken proceeded to make lulz by wearing really gay clothing like cowboy boots, a pink scarf, snakeskin pants, a cartoon monkey suit, a giant foam penis hat, and a sparkling pink sequined cowboy hat while smoking. He has yet to learn that wearing a penis on your head does not advertise for women to have sex with you, but rather the opposite. Then again, in the old days, he wore orange lipstick while smoking. Also, he dances like a pole stripper while smoking. Ken's lulzwagon is intentional which ameliorates his situation of mockery. He is also responsible for trolling other members of L'Arc, which is commendable behaviour. He is a chain smoker and gay for Tetsuko in America while smoking. Did I mention that he likes smoking?

Sakura aka What's Her Face

File:Sakuradisappointed.jpg
Sakura's patented death glare.

Sakura is a mystery, a panda, and possibly even a rumour, as a matter of fact, he does not exist, Tetsuko assures us of this. All those old songs were drummed for by Yukihiro who just looked funny back then. LOL HE HAS A GIRL'S NAME!1!! IN AMERICA!! Sakura was the second drummer of L'Arc~en~Ciel, and was actually much more famous than they were as a studio musician when they managed to convince him to join them, lol@newbs!. He's the youngest member, heaviest drinker, snappiest dresser, richest independantly, gheyest if we consider Tetsuko is actually a girl, has the largest pr0n collection, and is the only one with a permanent record for the win. In a barroom fight, he would pwn due to past experience, mad Judo skillz, and the ability to quickly make a shiv out of any neraby sharpenable object. According to fangirls who are not to be trusted, Sakura is noted for his piercing gaze that sees into men's souls, beautiful lustrous black hair that shines blue in the light, pale skin, toned body, and likeness to Antonio Banderas (WTF?). He has never been seen in a colour other than black, navy blue, white, black, or barbie pink which can of course be confused with black. It is alleged that his body runs on alcohol alone. He is made completely of beer, drumsticks, guitar strings, those little black keys off the piano, trumpet spit, and epic fail, the latter of which he is constantly reminded of at any available juncture by those around them. Mocking Sakura's epic fail is the national sport of Japan. Things Sakura fails at:

  • Life
  • Calisthenics
  • Doing the YMCA letters
  • Coordination of any sort outside of drumming
  • Staying out of prison
  • Sobriety
  • Not possessing heroin once
  • Singing
  • Dancing (really bad at that one)
  • Being straight (really really bad at that one)
  • Not thinking about Hyde
  • Not being a dork (teh lose at that one)


Sakura started out life as the baby Shoggoth of a family of three children, with the actual name Sakurazawa Yasunori. In highschool, he was a member of the school band and leader of the extremely dorky "Most Honourable Club of Necktie Knot Professionals," and looked good in a tux. After this he was embraced by the Setites, giving him the power to see into men's minds, commune with his god Set and possibly Holth, and pull off wearing all black all the time for ever. In exchange for these powers, Sakura must at all times avoid sunlight or he will burn to a crisp, explaining his deathly pallor that washes out his skin on concert videos, and was marked with the scales of the serpent in the shifting pattern of a cherry blossom and twirling vines across his upper body. It shifts because he is still a Shoggoth as you will remember. A vampire shoggoth. He gained fame and glory as a drummer for hire and studio musician and then upon a selfless whim decided not only to drive down to Osaka from Tokyo to meet a fanboy band but to actually join it even though they were gonna like, record their first album practically the next day oops forgot to tell you that Saku lol. After Hyde ate his lunch provoking an attack, by next thursday the two were BFFs and having mad hot buttsex commemorated by their 1996 Fish of Love. He wrote a love poem to Hyde and it got turned into a song with incomprehensible lyrics that describe the true meaning of life, along with the time cube and the triangle of learning. He also wrote the music to a song that scares babies and mugs people in dark alleys, and somehow managed to get it placed in the middle of an otherwise placid set of tracks for the lulz. During Sakura's reign as L'Arc drummer the most fanservice ever happened and nothing but love, win, and hilarious fail happened onstage and in videos. Unfortunately it all had to end when he got arrested for drug possession and then everyone got all emo and cut their hair. :( He went to rehab paid for by Hyde, and has been clean ever since, going on to found THE BEST J-ROCK BAND EVER. He has published three books, and regularly holds drum education seminars to ensure not only his own finances but also the brainwashing of all the future drummers of Japan. His favourite sexual position is the "cactus"; much like the octopus, no one seems to know what it is, but most seem certain that it involves getting it up the butt as part of a threesome because Sakura is just that gay. Sakura is currently the guitarist of his newly formed and led band, Lion Heads, is balding, and features other talents such as martial arts, dressing up as a reindeer, Curling, poetry, leg shaving, magic tricks, the bass guitar, and is a concert pianist. Also he is a shapeshifter.

==Yukihiro The Drummer Yukihiro is a Roswell Alien who delights in torturing us with his progressive takes on music in the electronic age, languid pacing of his songs, and horrible singing voice. All things fairly, he is made of win when it comes to composing songs with L'Arc, being responsible for many album-saving tracks, but when left to his own solo, he decides that a quick beat and gripping pacing is for 100zurz despite having great song openers: bait and switch at its finest. When singing solo or for extra tracks on singles, he ends every syllable with a sneer and shreiks on high notes. He is an amazing drummer made of love and win and is totally amazing cool at both drumming and programming arrangement omg yessorz. Yukihiro is a certified language teacher in English and French in America and actually writes comprehensible and thought provoking English and French lyrics which the rest of the band fails at; sadly they don't allow his lyrics in their album songs so you have to brave his solo albums to discover that some jrockers don't use engrish. He has been the drummer of L'Arc~en~Ciel since Pero left and is planning to contact the mothership with his gigantic forehead to feed all the annoying L'Arc fangirls to his alien bretheren. He is addicted to sugar, the contents of his refrigerator are coca-cola and pocky (RLY.) and he suffers from chronic toothache and cavities.

Hiro and Pero

File:VtML'Arc.gif
L'Arc~en~Ciel LARP far too much.

LOL PERMAB&!!!one Hiro was the first guitarist, but left because he couldn't take the heat, but not before cursing L'Arc~en~Ciel! That's right folks, this band was actually cursed. Hiro warned them that if they ever used his composed songs on an album he'd...

LOL DUNE!!1!

...well apparently he'd grant them amazing success and everlasting fame, so his curse was made of fail and he now cries himself to sleep at night realizing what a moneywagon he abandoned. The song they used was his composition "Shutting From The Sky," the first track of the album which Tetsuko now claims was written by Ken's cat Elizabeth OMG STFU HIRO.

It is rumoured that Hiro had ulterior motives for leaving the band. Sources suggest that "she wasn't the right cheerleader". Hiro's subsequent disappearance from the face of the Earth was solved in 2006 when he resurfaced in Tokyo as a programmer who can travel through time. Save the cheerleader. Save the world.

Pero was the first drummer who chickened out on the band right before they were going to record their first album. Pero actually convinced Hyde not to be L'Arc's guitarist, but rather their vocalist, unlocking the man's amazing voice and supplanting Tetsu as vocalist for great Justice. Hiro and Pero along with Hyde were part of an indies band Called Jerasem's Rod that predated L'Arc and were known for such startling musical achievements as "they were that garage band that predated L'Arc. In America."

Megumi

Hyde's wife, Megumi is probably the most patient woman on Planet Earth, as being able to put up with him and his childish demeanor would make a saint out of any woman. She is a better actress than her own husband, has worked on television dramas and as a weather lady, has a single out and a few artbooks, is sweet, kind, and a loving good mother. She can cook, and is a professional rollerblader. Reports say that when the two first met at a concert afterparty (!@ utaban n00bz)(for even newbier noobs, the !symbol means not. n00b.), it was love at first sight.

Some idiots say that Megumi is in fact a robot, a metal machine put up in pictures next to HYDE and set on idle in the Takarai household such that Hyde and Gackt may have mad hot sexxorz. They are idiots and should be reported to the authorities. The truth is that Megumi is in fact an android by the name of Megumi Honey ("ai no senshi megumi haaniii" in Japanese) who uses the AISystem to change into different disguise outfits and armor in order to fight crime. With a cry of "Honey Flash!" Megumi transforms into Megumi Honey, Warrior of Love! Her fight against Gackt was chronicled in "Cutie Honey The Motion Picture."

Megumi's Theme Song:

She's the sort of girl who's a beauty queen. Please look over my way Megumi! Because we need you to... well because we need you just because. Oh pretty please, oh pretty please, please don't hurt my heart this way! The fast drumbeat of my heart tickles, tickles, ticks deep inside! Oh, don't... No don't give me that look in your eye. Honey Flash!

She's the sort of girl who's a beauty queen. Please look over my way Megumi! Because we need you to... well because we need you just because. Oh pretty please, oh pretty please, please don't come close to me at all. Pressure's building up in my brain... giggle, giggle, laughter comes out! Oh, don't... No don't give me that look in your eye. Honey Flash!

"I'm going to change."

Ein the Totally Cool German Guy

File:Corgipanzer.JPG
Ein is a werecorgi.

Ein is amazing and cooler than anyone in L'Arc~en~Ciel. He is half German half Japanese half Corgi and a bassist with a great voice. Ein possesses "Ein Logic", a logic infallible which serves to establish him as a font of truth in this hectic world. Ein is the founder and maintainer of Der Spanken Haus, a Gay Bar in Tokyo with a very select clientele. He lives a life shrouded in mystery and sheer awesomeocity.

The first tenent of Ein logic is "Never have buttsex without lube." The second tenent is "Ken logic is vastly inferior to Ein logic." There are many other teachings of Ein Logic, representing truth. If ever someone tries to sell you bullshit, countering with Ein logic is the best way and will grant you immediate win. If someone has said something to you conclusively proving you wrong and leaving you with nothing else to counter their assertion, they have probably used Ein Logic on you.

As a werecorgi, Ein changes into the form of a mighty Corgi under the full moon. Under those pearlescent rays, the popular series Cowboy Bebop was filmed from whence Ein gained massive popularity in the west in the form of posters, memorabilia, and plush backpacks and figures. In SOAP, Ein produced his own line of stylish handbags which were canvas, not plush.

February 29th 1997

NEVAR 4GET

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NEVAR!
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This protesting panda is doing Sakura cosplay.
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Thank(?) Feb 29 1997 for this.

On February 29th 1997, Sakurazawa Yasunori was arrested for drug posession. After his arrest, he went into rehab and has been clean ever since. If it has to do with Jrock and there is any uncertainty as to the date, it probably happened in 1997, more specifically Feb29. Every time you 4GET, a baby panda dies. 4GETting Feb 29 1997 has been scientifically proven to be the reason for the scarcity of pandas. Please, think of the pandas.

Things that happened onFeb 29 1997:

  • Evangelion (L'arc's favourite anime) was released.
  • The Osaka Dome (where L'Arc would subsequently play many many times) opened.
  • Toshiya of Dir en grey was kidnapped by aliens dressed as men dressed as women. He proceeded to rat out Kaoru to the residents of Beardion 5 who now use Kaoru's chin as a base of operations. On the same date, Kyo moved in with Shinya and Shinya's mom as part of his deal with the Make A Wish foundation.
  • Harry Potter (Hyde's favourite book) was released onto the world.
  • Incidentally, it was also the day of X Japan's last live in celebration of Yoshiki's wedding to the Floor. Later that night, hide mysteriously disappeared.
  • Mana discovered he was indeed a woman and Klaha Chocolate Chip was invented.
  • YURA-sama first read the original chinese text of "Journey to the West."
  • Gackt discovered his super-saiyan heritage.
  • SHOXX Vol. 125 Kirito x Kohta Special Front 20 Pages Edition "Love & Peace?" released.
  • Miyavi invented Visual Kei.
  • Buck Tick officially became old men, but nobody cared.
  • Pegasus' wife exploded. Again.
  • Pikachu ate all of Takeo's lucky charms.
  • There were wakkinao KIYOHARUS on a wakkinao PLANE!!!
  • Kyo raped your daughter over your future grave.
  • And the Heavens wept.

The Great Sakura VS Yukihiro Debate

The greatest lulz come from within the fandom itself, the most epic being the great Sakura VS Yukihiro debate. For years after 1997, fanbrats argued about which drummer was superior, Sakura or Yukihiro. Pero was completely forgotten because he totally doesn't count amirite? Arguments from Sakura's side focused not on his overwhelming talent, but rather on his perceived hotness. Rebuttals from Yukihiro's side focused on Sakura's failure, Yukihiro's use of electronica and heavy metal beats, and his arguable hotness. For years, the war raged on culminating in physical injury and mass LJ defriending in America. The two sides would scarcely talk to each other, much like in the great Harmonian debates, causing a polarity of views on any L'Arc issue. The Sakura fans were characterized by being "old fans" who would regularly complain that things were better in the old days and make fun of or otherwise disparage Yukihiro, whereas the Yukihiro fans deified Yukihiro and did nothing but make fun of and disparage Sakura. Then things started to...stop. This is because enough time had passed that Tetsuko's plan could be enacted, namely...

Sakura Who?

The current drummer situation is the culmination of Tetsuko's evil plan to wipe Sakura from the face of History. Stage one of the plan is to never talk about Sakura after Bravery in America. Stage two is to rerelease old tracks to the public with Sakura's name expunged. Stage three is to have Yukihiro actually drum for Sakura songs at concerts. Stage four, the current stage of completion which is as perfect as America and results in Every new fan of L'ARc~en~Ciel, especially the American ones, believing that Yukihiro was the only drummer of L'Arc ever. The only one. Saying otherwise is crimethink. The plan is faulty however, as pictures of Sakura still exist on old CDs and duckspeaking new fans will look at them and ask the intarnets "why does Yukihiro look so weird?" Thus stage five of Tetsuko's plan is to rerelease all the old albums with new insert art of Yukihiro in period costume photoshopped in over Sakura. Her plan will fail because Sakura is the sensei of every new drummer in Japan. Wax on, wax off, crash cymbal, ride cymbal, crash cymbal, ride cymbal. Boot to the head! Stage six: ??? Stage seven: Profit!

Bravery

According to Tetsuko, we "have no bravery to know the truth" which is whiny emo code for "u have no idea how hard it iz 2 b us." On the one hand he is correct: the life of a rockstar is a horrible one full of pain, unpaid labour, and debt, and more pain and sadness. On the other hand, cheer up emo Tetsuko. Many American fans thought that Tetsuko was referring to Feb 29 1997, which as mentioned earlier we should NEVAR 4GET.

Break Off Bands and Solo Careers

L'Arc~en~Ciel have the disturbing habit of forming break off bands where they switch up their band members for great justice and play their own music or parody it along with songs by US artists in America. Amoung their bands: D'Arc~en~Ciel, the Zombies, and P'Unk~en~Ciel. In these bands, Hyde often goes back to being guitarist while Tetsuko sings, the drummer takes the bass and Ken drums.

TETSU 69 is more of Tetsuko's compositions sung by her. This is how she WISHED L'Arc would have gone. It is pop.

HYDE is every Hyde song that the rest of the band told him he couldn't play and they would never put on an album for good reason. Most of the songs on his first album Roentgen suck worse than a broken vacuum cleaner. His solo single from Roentgen, Evergreen, is about the death of a childhood friend. Many fans can't get this through their heads. She died of cancer, okay?

Acid Android is the cool name for Yukihiro's solo albums where his laughable voice is displayed. Also of note is his singing for the "Yukihiro version" of Ready Steady Go where his opening exultation is "ARRRRRRR you rea-DY??" Ken's was "I'm ready!" Which version fails more is up for grabs.

Sons Of All Pussys are a band fashioned of raw love and win. Ken has the voice of an angel. Other than the sound of a strangled cat however, the compositions are strong and especially stirring with the addition of Ein's pieces and bass singing. They are yummaliscious and do not take themselves seriously at all, making them fun to watch and comment on for great justice. They have stylish handbags.

Ken Curlyhair is a myth. Ken has no solo outside of SOAP. More like Pata Curlyhair!!

Zigzo is THE BEST JROCK BAND EVER.

Lion Heads aka "Zigzo 2: Electric Boogaloo" is the latest brilliant opus of Sakura. It is indeed special one day.

Rock?

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L'ARC!!

Yes.

L'Arc~en~Ciel are rock. Glay are not.

Contention

Glay fans and L'Arc~en~Ciel fans are in constant battle with each other much like Gackt and Miyavi fans. If you are a fan of L'Arc, you cannot be a fan of Glay and vice versa. Glay fans will try to say that Glay is rock, but they are wrong. At least it is what L'Arc fans will say. The rivalry started back in early 90's, when both bands were competing in an audition to be the next Johnny's Jimusho boyband. Although they did pretty well, none of them manage to win the competion, since you can't really compete with SMAP.

Albums

  • "Holy Shit Someone Poisoned Me!" (collaboratory effort with other indie bands; not an album proper)
  • "What do you mean they only printed 1000?" (actually a single. but dude, they only printed 1000!)
  • "Shutting From the Sky" (first actual album)
  • "Inner Core"
  • "Shizuka no Umi de"
  • "Good Morning Hyde"
  • "Niji" (meaning rainbow, much like L'Arc~en~Ciel)
  • "Covenant" & "Irwin" (two albums released at once)
  • "What, We Have a Best Album Already?"
  • "Another One?"
  • "What, for Our B-side Tracks Too?" (has some good songs actually)
  • "Smile Please, Me Please"
  • "Hak! Dangercrue Still Owns This Thing?" (rerelease of their first album)
  • "Flugelhorn" (they utilize the flugelhorn on this album. Please note that the flugelhorn is the instrument with the funniest sounding name.)
  • "In America"

See also