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Riga 26:
Si noti che non esiste nessun vaccino, e anche se ci fosse, vorresti veramente esporre te e il tuo bambino a queste cattive tossine di [[mercurio]]? Se poi diventano [[autistici]], è tutta colpa [[Tu|tua]]!
==Storia della SDD==
La SDD è in circolazione almeno da quando esistono gli oggetti affilati. Nel [[1979]] degli archeologi hanno trovato uno [[scheletro]] di [[Neanderthal]] riportante i classici segni della sindrome da decapitazione, come la testa sepolta in una tomba a parte. Circa una settimana dopo, gli stessi archeologi hanno trovato un attrezzo di pietra primitivo, che è stato testato per gli anticorpi della SDD. I risultati erano ambigui:
The results were ambiguous: the first archaeologist concluded that the tool was contaminated with viable traces of the virus, while the second archaeologist strongly disagreed with this conclusion, claiming that he would stake his life that the tool was not infected with active virus. The first archaeologist then attempted to infect the second archaeologist. Although it took five minutes of repeated attempts to successfully infect the second archaeologist, his head eventually detached spontaneously from his body, thereby confirming the first archaeologist's suspicions. This was hailed as definitive proof that the Decapitation Disease virus can remain dormant for thousands of years.
DDS was particularly prevalent in the Middle Ages and Renaissance, where it was the first ever form of biological warfare. The battleaxe and sword were supplanted as the primary carriers of DDS by the guillotine. Thanks to advancements in the field of capital punishment, however, this gruesome device has been replaced by the electric chair, which transmits the harmless Electrocution Disease (ED). During the late 1700s, there was a DDS epidemic in France, which was spread by revolutionaries. Fortunately, the epidemic subsided after several years due to a decline in the number of sharp objects used on the battlefield.
Edit DDS in the Modern World
There has been a steady decline in the number of reported cases of DDS each year in the United States, primarily due to public service messages that have increased awareness of this disease among the American public. Unfortunately, other countries (such as Iraq, for example) more than make up for this. A particularly virulent strain of Decapitation Disease has reared its ugly, bodiless head most famously on Al Jazeera's popular reality shows The Weakest Neck and I'm An Infidel Head, Get Me Off This Body.
Due to the decreasing number of reported Decapitation Disease infections nowadays, this extremely dangerous and fatal disease is losing popularity. It is for this that it sometimes comes to situations where people unknowingly transmit the disease to others by using infected objects. The story of an 80 old year woman from Dublin infecting her grandchild with DDS and then asking the cops if her grandchild will get well, has stirred up vehement movements in many modern countries for teaching the people all about DDS. The Heads Up Foundation is the most popular, having the most powerful local branches in Rome, Paris, Tokyo and Bucharest and performing missionary work in a large number of countries. Other international anti-DDS organizations are The Non-Decapitation Committee, The International Group Against Microsoft and DDS, DDS Up Your Ass Foundation and many others, mostly fighting on a local scale by spreading fliers depicting gored DDS victims, or by arranging theater-plays in which they show how DDS can be deliberately spread.
Edit The Future of DDS
The future of this deadly ailment is uncertain, but experts speculate that Decapitation Disease will never truly be eradicated, especially if what we see in Sci-fi horror and Chuck Norris movies are any indication. However, as public awareness of DDS increases, medical experts believe that cases worldwide, or at least in developed countries, will drop drastically. In the near future, however, scientists predict an epidemic of DDS in the Middle East, so it's best to stay away from there for the next five to fifty years. In fact, just avoid the place for the rest of your life.
Edit Myths Surrounding Decapitation Disease
Myth: DDS is highly contagious, so you should stay away from victims.
Answer: No. Fortunately, DDS does not transmit from person to person. So you can hang out with headless bodies as much as you want, creepy as that is.
Myth: Not everyone who gets DDS will die.
Answer: Not true. Everyone who gets stricken with DDS dies, regardless of genetic disposition. Scientists are still divided on the issue of DDS and Siamese twins, though. Recent study has found that Siamese twins who do not share a heart could survive if one twin were to succumb to DDS because DDS can only spread to the nearest local heart.
Myth: Anything sharp could transmit decapitation disease.
Answer: True. Anything that is sharp could transmit DDS. Dull objects, however, harbor lower amounts of the virus and it is harder to contract DDS from them.
Myth: Emo people want to get DDS.
Answer: True. Those punks will do anything to get attention.
Myth: Lasers and light sabers could also spread DDS.
Answer: False. DDS cannot be transmitted without sharp edges to harbor the virus. Moreover, light sabers were made up by the liberal media.
Myth: Decapitation disease is just God's punishment for the abomination of kitten huffing.
Answer: False. There is no statistically significant link between kitten huffing and DDS, unless one uses the not well-known razor blade technique.
Myth: Grues can spread DDS.
Answer: False. While Grues may remove the head initially, they do not stop at the head and thus are not true carriers of DDS.
Myth: DDS actually stands for Digital Devil Saga.
Answer: ... We'll get back to you on that.
Myth: Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin can cure DDS.
Answer: False. Although this brand new wonder drug has been known to treat anything from leprosy to SARS, various testing by the CDC has proved it is not able to cure DDS, even if the test subject takes it before being infected with the disease.
Myth: Decapitation Disease can affect any part of the body.
Answer: Absolutely untrue. DDS viruses, for an as of now unknown reason, are only effective on the soft skin of a neck.
Myth: Shotguns can spread DDS.
Answer: No. Shotgun shells, when fired at close range, can result in destruction of the body above the head, it does not actually sever the head, and actually results in acute contraction of SEHS.
Edit See also
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